text & later audio

[retiredfromhell]

[ Back home Lucifer didn't even own a cell phone. For all that he was on top of all things cultural and even technological he shunned the culture of cell phones and as such he didn't bother.

Here in Hadriel he'd had one of the infernal devices foisted off on him but, aside from some trolling of his own across the network he'd never bothered with initiating a communication.

Apparently that made him a prime trolling target. Because at some point during these misfire days, a text got blasted across the network, originating from the device of one Lucifer Morningstar. ]

I'd like to purchase your soul, what do you feel is a fair market value?

[ At some point after the text went out, whether due to Lucifer noticing it himself or (more likely) as a result of someone telling him where to shove 'his' offer, the Lord of Hell's dulcet tones came across the network.

By dulcet we mean richly accented but managing to sound an odd combination of resigned and childish at the same time. ]

For the LAST time. I DO NOT buy souls! That's not how Hell works. It's like the damn goats, when I figure out where the rumor started I swear I'm going ...

[ Sorry Hadriel, the audio cuts out before he can share his plans with you. ]

Comments

[retiredfromhell]

I don't see any reason why they wouldn't be. But in the interest of full disclosure it's been a few millennia since I was last up at the home office, so to speak.

[ And it wasn't as if he and Amenadiel had the time to discuss the presence of cherubs up in the Silver City so who knew? The last batch could have grown into proper seraphs and no other cherubs were designed. ]

[bookman_exorcist]

I appreciate the full disclosure, it's what I'm used to. [His profession as a Bookman gave him no limits to information.]

[A pause. All the clues were there, but he hasn't introduced himself.] So are you actually the Lucifer?

[retiredfromhell]

Yes. [ Said in the tone of a slightly petulant child. ] Which I keep saying and people have a remarkable reluctance to believe.

Quite annoying actually. They like to call me the Prince of Lies, yet I never lie and have never lied in my entire existence. Yet when I tell them my name, all I ever hear is 'you're making that up'.

[bookman_exorcist]

[Lavi actually laughs a bit at that.] Can you blame 'em? To me and most you're just a name in a book. The possibility of ya being real seems slim to none.

Though it is a pretty bold statement, especially amongst complete strangers. So I have the inclination to believe you. [Because really, what would someone gain from claiming to be the devil? And Lavi was more than open to seeing if it was true.]

[retiredfromhell]

There is nothing bold about it. It is simply my name.

[ In truth, it was his title, Lucifer had abandoned his 'name' when he'd rebelled. But he wasn't about to get into that part of the lore. ]

[bookman_exorcist]

It doesn't bother me either way, to be honest. [Despite working for a church organization as an 'exorcist', Lavi himself was not religious.] As long as there's no soul sucking, but ya already said we don't have to worry about that.

[He doesn't sound concerned in the least bit, in fact he even chuckles at the end of it.] I'm Lavi, by the way. What would you prefer to be called? My friend hates his first name, so I'm accustomed to askin'.

[retiredfromhell]

Lucifer, is what I prefer to be called. [ It was the safest for everybody involved. ]

And indeed, I have no use for souls. The books written got that entirely wrong, in fact they got most of it wrong but I suppose that was Father's intention.

[bookman_exorcist]

Noted. [Although he's already thinking up a nickname.]

It does read like a book of fiction. I'd be more surprised if ya told me the whole thing was true. [Really it's amazing his uniform hasn't burst into flame yet. Or at least the few cross badges on it.]