text & later audio

[retiredfromhell]

[ Back home Lucifer didn't even own a cell phone. For all that he was on top of all things cultural and even technological he shunned the culture of cell phones and as such he didn't bother.

Here in Hadriel he'd had one of the infernal devices foisted off on him but, aside from some trolling of his own across the network he'd never bothered with initiating a communication.

Apparently that made him a prime trolling target. Because at some point during these misfire days, a text got blasted across the network, originating from the device of one Lucifer Morningstar. ]

I'd like to purchase your soul, what do you feel is a fair market value?

[ At some point after the text went out, whether due to Lucifer noticing it himself or (more likely) as a result of someone telling him where to shove 'his' offer, the Lord of Hell's dulcet tones came across the network.

By dulcet we mean richly accented but managing to sound an odd combination of resigned and childish at the same time. ]

For the LAST time. I DO NOT buy souls! That's not how Hell works. It's like the damn goats, when I figure out where the rumor started I swear I'm going ...

[ Sorry Hadriel, the audio cuts out before he can share his plans with you. ]

Comments

text;

[strangelic]

I don't have a soul. I wasn't aware you horsetraded for them, either.

[retiredfromhell]

[ It took a little mystery solving to figure out just what was going on with a seemingly blank message, but eventually Lucifer cottoned on.

Of course decoding and reading it only heightened his bemusement. ]

That's a weird way to start a conversation, brother.

[text]

[circumitus]

[Um, what?]

afraid it's probably not worth very much.
it's not even real.

voice

[64th]

What would you even do with a soul?

audio.

[bheidh]

But some do?

[strangelic]

You are the one who begun this conversation, Lucifer. I find it unsettling that you're asking anyone for their souls.

[retiredfromhell]

I most certainly did not. Have you ever known me to start a conversation on one of these infernal devices?

And I don't want anyone's soul. I never have.

[retiredfromhell]

[ Uhm, what?? Right back attcha! ]

Then why are you wasting my time talking about it?

[retiredfromhell]

Nothing!

[ By now someone sounds decidedly perturbed and more than a little frustrated. ]

That's what is so ridiculous about this whole thing! I don't want souls, never did. They just ... show up.

[retiredfromhell]

Some do what??

[ He sounds more than a little huffy, because he is more than a little huffy about all this nonsense. ]

text

[unitas]

(￣へ ￣ 凸)

[ it's like all her texts are just summed up through adorable Japanese kaomoji. she notes that and sends another text, probably some attempt to explain that that is not what she meant to send but it still turns up kaomoji. ]

┗(｀Дﾟ┗(｀ﾟДﾟ´)┛ﾟД´)┛

[retiredfromhell]

Even in adorable emoji, it's still rude to curse someone out for no apparent reason.

[unitas]

[ hey, sure, there had been an expletive or two in her original text, but you did offer to purchase some souls, and thank you, but her soul is worth more than anything you've got to offer. ]

¯\_(ಠ_ಠ)_/¯ [ honey badger don't care ]

[retiredfromhell]

[ He most certainly did not! He doesn't want any souls!! Maybe a favor here and there, a nice bargain that benefited both parties but he did not want any souls!

They just showed up in Hell ... like ants after a half used lollipop. ]

Have you ever heard the phrase 'use your words'?

audio

[unitas]

Those had been words when I sent them. [ irritation dominates her tone. ] I don't usually text like I'm an anime character.

audio

[retiredfromhell]

There! That's much better. [ He exclaimed, almost as if he hadn't heard what she'd said.

He had. He was just also an ass. ]

Yet I'm still left to ask, what are you talking about?

[bheidh]

Purchase souls.

[retiredfromhell]

I have no idea. It's not something I do, though somehow the rumor got started.

[bheidh]

Many rumours stem from some truth. It's what makes them dangerous.

text

[inappropriatelaughter]

1000 cartons of smokes

[ wait no how much does he smoke, shit. better be on the safe side. ]

5000

[strangelic]

How should I know what you're texting habits are?

Still, it wouldn't be the worst solution to our problem. With souls, it might be possible to power a way back through he multiverse door. But neither you nor I are worthy to attempt it.

video

[skelebro]

SOULs are kind of a valued commodity. I wouldn't.

video forever.

[truthvalue]

It's not?

[There's open curiosity in the expression on the face that replies - what many people would probably call an honest face, belonging to a grey-haired, grey-eyed teen, marked with a thin scar slashed down his left cheek.

That initial message definitely caught Souji's interest; the demon he'd become in Melasurei was never this direct about transacting in the soul trade, preferring to lean on seduction and manipulation instead, and Souji didn't expect to ever meet anyone else who'd been to Hell in the course of his travels.]

How does Hell work?

[circumitus]

was not the one asking about its price.

[Audio]

[bookman_exorcist]

[The network is just way too fun lately. His voice is a bit lazy and as charismatic as it can be while he's teasing the poor man(?).]

What about those scary looking devil babies? You hiding a tail somewhere? I suddenly have so many questions.