TEXT 02

[fleshing]

[Anyone who's seen Krieg type before might be prepared for the walls of poorly-written text-vomit. Anyone else might be...alarmed. No, he isn't having a stroke. No, he doesn't not know how to work the keys. That's just how he types.]

gggoOT SOME GOOD S GOODIES FOR AY!!!!!!!!!!
coM FINd we dELIVER ALLLLLLll; DAYdaydyaDAY

[Beneath are a series of image attachments, labeled thusly:

> SPIKY NO-NOS
> red reD Rerd red red
> i liKED it!!!!!!!!
> CHIPS
> thIS IS NOT ORGANIC!!!!!
> fFOR KEEPSSSS DO NOT TOUCH TOUCH

Evidently, he didn't mean to attach the last image. He's going to keep the teddy bear. It's his teddy bear. It loves him. It understands him. He wants it by his side forever.]

ffffff;ffj

foor SALE


will excepptpt




mEAAAAAAT

Comments

[beanstalk]

[ Okay call it morbid curiosity that made him actually look at the images. He's not sure if he regrets it or not, but at least he knows that he wasn't the only one to get...junk. ]

Is that what hope gave you?

video

[casperdisaster]

Oh! That bear is so cute!

[Wait, will Krieg think Noah is trying to take the bear?? Better clarify quick. He holds up the stuffed snail he got for helping some beautification.]

I got this snail! I like to hug it - do you hug your bear?

[Is Noah talking to the ultramurder war machine like a elementary schooler? Maaaaaaaaaybeeeee. He's definitely got the gentle-friendly voice going.]

[Video]

[thechoiceisyours]

[This should not be endearing but it is.]

Krieg, bro, the coins are actually chocolate if you take the foil off. You might want those.

[Because everyone except Kanda apparently likes chocolate, right?]

text

[fleshing]

yeS YES yes yesyes!!!!!!!

VERyy NICE !!!!!

[video]

[wormintheglass]

Pound of snake bacon for the wine, dearheart?

video

[fleshing]

[Krieg is indeed holding the bear when the video feed snaps on. He's got it perched on his shoulder, as a matter of fact. He likes his new bear buddy!]

It KNOWS me!!

[Video]

[fleshing]

[Krieg stares at the coins for a long moment, then finally scrapes the foil off with clumsy inelegance and chews on the morsel thoughtfully. His expression brightens after a moment.]

Good!

video

[casperdisaster]

[Noah has to smile at that. Aw. Krieg is so cute sometimes. It really makes no sense for him to be so adorable with all his terrifying parts.

Noah chooses to ignore the terrifying parts. He smiles.]

I can see that! You're clearly good friends already! Does your bear have a name?

[video]

[fleshing]

Yessir, milady!

[Honestly, she could ask him for any and all of his items and - with the exception of the bear - he'd give them to her for free. But he'll accept the meat too.]

Where d'you want 'em?

video

[fleshing]

[Krieg tries to look at the bear, which is an awkward maneuver he doesn't entirely manage due to the position it has on his shoulder. He hems and haws for a moment until he finally communicates an answer that might not qualify as an answer at all:]

"I love you"?

[That's what it says, right?]

text

[beanstalk]

I wonder if he gave all of us who killed things junk like that

video

[casperdisaster]

That's a great name for a bear.

[It's a very sincere statement with no mockery involved. It's adorable that Krieg would respond to asking for a name with that.]

I don't know what I'm going to name my snail yet. Where I was before I had a kitten named Shotgun.

text

[fleshing]

buT I T'S GOOOOOOD JU NK!!!!!!!!

[No one should disparage perfectly good garbage.]

video

[fleshing]

BOOM!

[He mimes firing a shotgun, evidently pleased at the name.]

Rrrmmm...SMG?! MORTAR!! MOONSHOT!!!

[All right well now he's just listing weapon names and hoping one of them sounds like a good title for a snail.]

Re: text

[beanstalk]

What use is there in a bunch of random stuff?

You're even giving all of it away

[fleshing]

mmMEAT !!!!!! BETTER !! !!! trrrrar;rtrade!!!!!

[beanstalk]

[ Food was important, he couldn't blame him there.

.... even if it didn't sound like a better trade to Kanda. ]

point tanken

[fleshing]

yoOU ge t a ny??????????

1/2 video;

[glazedonutholes]

Goodies?

2/2 video;

[glazedonutholes]

I love Goodies!

video

[fleshing]

[Krieg turns on his video in response, revealing fearsome-looking, rather grizzled masked man with NO INDOOR VOICE.]

WHADDAYA WANT?

video

[glazedonutholes]

[ The video turns and -- ]

Wow. Where'd you get that awesome breathalyzer?

video

[fleshing]

Brrrbrbr - what?

[He cocks his head in apparent confusion.]

video

[glazedonutholes]

You know, the thing they put in your mouth to check if you've had a fun time or not.

video

[fleshing]

Fun!! Grind the cartilage, rip the spines, FUN!!

[Krieg's definition of fun may deviate from the standard a little bit. A very little bit.]