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[morphinum]

alright I got a few things to say here


listen I have been nothing but fucking pleasant and ""agreeable"" and whatever to you people here but I for one am not going to sit back and fucking take red lights in the goddam sky of a CAVE honestly what bullshit is this

actually no this is not the worst of the bullshit and frankly losers when you're comparing bullshit you're in a pretty fucked up place. the Bullshit Games. what an excellent ring to it sheer fucking poetry

honestly you wormfucks have a Serious Problem with your sky because why the hell was snow falling out from fucking rocks alright rocks are not clouds. get your shit together. I cannot believe I am the one telling you asswipes to get your shit together but HONESTLY the complacency of you people makes me fucking sick. I am practically vomiting you freaks should be ashamed of yourselves. not to mention the fact that the toasters here don't even WORK PROPERLY all I wanted was some toast. some fucking toast. is that too much to ask I don't even want butter ok just some goddamn toast. slightly burned around the edges and JUST SO YOU KNOW the toaster problem is not My Fault I am a culinary fucking genius when it comes to toast my toast has a fucking toast level gradient president snow himself demands my fucking toast I am no toast plebeian and I will not settle for this

I cannot BELIEVE you all think that gods are running this place what are you twelve?? is everyone here secretly a child because I tell you what you're all acting like scared little pissbabies and I for one pride myself on an anti pissbaby policy

I did not win two shitass gladiator matches to get stuck in a cave and I will blow the roof off this place if I have to don't think I won't

SINCERELY, FUCK YOU

<3 johanna

Comments

[morphinum]

finally someone who isn't completely incompetent
mind sharing your guide, or is it classified material? these toasters operate like a fucking government conspiracy

[casperdisaster]

[Noah's responses are actually fairly slow going. It's hard to use touchscreens with cold hands. Eventually he manages to get the little photo guide of using the toaster sent, where you have to press in order to get it to open up and reveal itself as a toaster and how to proceed from there.]

Me and another girl, Ashley, we're going to make a little guide about how to use the kitchen equipment. We're the kitchen club.

[morphinum]

[ in the meantime, Johanna paces up and down the apartment, trying not to punch a hole in the wall. She does wind up punching the wall, but luckily, the plaster doesn't break. ]

this is the least accessible toaster I have ever seen

fuck are you trying to be cute?? the kitchen club? kid you are doing a real service I almost respect you

[casperdisaster]

Um no I wasn't trying to be cute.

But if I ended up being cute I'll take it anyway.

[morphinum]

you did. I'm almost impressed

[casperdisaster]

Almost is better than nothing.