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[morphinum]

alright I got a few things to say here


listen I have been nothing but fucking pleasant and ""agreeable"" and whatever to you people here but I for one am not going to sit back and fucking take red lights in the goddam sky of a CAVE honestly what bullshit is this

actually no this is not the worst of the bullshit and frankly losers when you're comparing bullshit you're in a pretty fucked up place. the Bullshit Games. what an excellent ring to it sheer fucking poetry

honestly you wormfucks have a Serious Problem with your sky because why the hell was snow falling out from fucking rocks alright rocks are not clouds. get your shit together. I cannot believe I am the one telling you asswipes to get your shit together but HONESTLY the complacency of you people makes me fucking sick. I am practically vomiting you freaks should be ashamed of yourselves. not to mention the fact that the toasters here don't even WORK PROPERLY all I wanted was some toast. some fucking toast. is that too much to ask I don't even want butter ok just some goddamn toast. slightly burned around the edges and JUST SO YOU KNOW the toaster problem is not My Fault I am a culinary fucking genius when it comes to toast my toast has a fucking toast level gradient president snow himself demands my fucking toast I am no toast plebeian and I will not settle for this

I cannot BELIEVE you all think that gods are running this place what are you twelve?? is everyone here secretly a child because I tell you what you're all acting like scared little pissbabies and I for one pride myself on an anti pissbaby policy

I did not win two shitass gladiator matches to get stuck in a cave and I will blow the roof off this place if I have to don't think I won't

SINCERELY, FUCK YOU

<3 johanna

Comments

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[cowardley]

I think believing some weirdo gods have kidnapped us is a little easier to digest when you take into account the crazy shit that happens here.

[morphinum]

what like the snow and the monsters?

that's regular gamemaker shit man

[cowardley]

You're obviously not talking about video game developers.

[morphinum]

hell no I'm talking about fights to the death

I mean they're broadcast on TV if that counts as video?? but I'm pretty sure video games are different they sound a lot less murder-y

[cowardley]

And people watch? Oh my gosh.

[ look, she'll explain video games one day but can we please discuss this society that seems stuck in the Roman Empire. ]

[morphinum]

[ bread and circuses, ash. bread and circuses. ]

well yeah it's mandatory. mine had an excellent plot twist at the end at least.

[cowardley]

[ mandatory? wow, that's just a great way to control your people. ]

I don't wanna ask, but what happened?

[morphinum]

okay picture a bigass government in an unruly country

the government sucks so the people are like "hey government you suck!!" this government, however, is really shitty about taking criticism. instead they say "you don't tell the president what to do" and as punishment we gotta give them two kids every year from each district. the kids are thrown into a ring and fight to the death, everyone is sad and terrified, it becomes prime time entertainment.

anyway I faked being small and weak and a pansyass so everyone else forgot about me till there were about three other kids left. then I snuck up on them, slaughtered their sorry selves, and got crowned Victor. the crowd went wild, so I'm told.

[cowardley]

[ Ash is from a generation that pays more attention to their politics, and while she knows her government has its (super bad) flaws, it doesn't force people to sacrifice children to shut up it's naysayers. ]

A really smart tactic. [ but that's... that doesn't seem to sum up how she feels about what this person just texted her. ] I'm sorry you went through that, and your government sucks ass. I hope they all die.

[ and she's always been pretty staunchly against the death penalty ]

[morphinum]

I appreciate the death wish! that was what I was working on before I got dumped in this shithole. if you see a crusty old fat white guy with a shitty beard and a rose aesthetic kick him in the balls for me

and then shoot his brains out

[cowardley]

I don't know if I could do something like that to anyone, but if I see someone like that, I'll tell you. I hear people are supposed to come back to life here, so I don't know if killing him would make much difference.

But... I guess that means you could do it more than once.

[morphinum]

now you're talking kid

spoken like a true murderer. a plus.

[cowardley]

Uh... Thanks?

[ no what omg johanna what no. ]

[morphinum]

you're welcome

i only give compliments once every five years. make it count kid