Accidental Video; Horrible Roommates Being Horrible

[darthvaderfanboy]

[The video turns on haphazardly, staring up as if someone had flung it across the room and accidentally turned it on. Which, incidentally, is exactly what happened. There's a red glare as Kylo's lightsaber comes into view. He slashes at someone just out of view, missing them, and instead taking out part of the couch.]

I've had it with you! I'll make you wish you'd died as a child!

[Then his toe hits the video, sending it spinning and landing in another spot.]

Oh like I'm going to be scared of a pathetic version of Darth Vader. You have no idea how many times I wanted to abandon you on Hoth.

[There is a loud clambering as Hux got out of the way and when the video settles he can be seen with his blaster in his hand, eyes shining with a mad fury.

He raises the blaster and fires a few shots aimed at Kylo, but a few shots hit the walls and destroy the couch.

Kylo blocks the blaster shots with an almost contemptuous ease, his lightsaber twirling in front of him in a back and forth pattern. He stops the last shot in midair, sending it sailing back towards Hux.]

Is that the best you can do? My mother is a better shot, you Tarkin-wannabe.

[Now he was just hitting below the belt.]

You did not-

[Hux barely manages to dodge the reflected blast, which hit the opposite wall, leaving a deep mark. He's back on his feet to fire a few more shots with a growl of fury. He doesn't care where they land, he just wants to make Kylo suffer.]

Oh, please, you just sit and talk to your grandfather's helmet. 'I will finish what you started' - that's one of the stupidest things I've ever heard. You're just an embarrassment.

[Kylo goes very still for a moment, the video's skewed perspective making him look about seven feet tall. Everything nearby him begins to rattle with the power of the Force. Then, with a roar of fury, they all lift up, and began hurling themselves at Hux.]

I have more power than you could ever dream of! You think firing off your little superweapon gives you power? You're nothing. Just a bastard who got lucky.

[Hux's expression turns ugly, he's spent his entire life being called a bastard no matter how much he tried to put his past behind him.]

My little superweapon? The superweapon I could use to command the power of the stars when I destroyed the entire Hosnian System? I destroyed the Republic, their Senate, and their entire fleet in a moment while you sulked like a litt-

[He paused suddenly as he noticed the device, walking towards it.] You idiot, you left your phone on.

[Kylo looks over his shoulder at the phone. Great. They'd just broadcast that entire argument to the network. Now everyone knows about the Hosnian System. With a frustrated growl, he picks up a nearby lamp, and throws at Hux's head, not caring if it actually connects or not.]

This is your fault, you smug moron.

[Their physical altercation is done. The bickering is far from over.]

Comments

video;

[iustitiae]

Holy shit you guys.

[thats about all hes got]

Video

[darthvaderfanboy]

The smarmy bastard started it.

[Because it's so mature to blame the other person.]

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[therewillbeorder]

[From behind Kylo-]

You started it five years ago when you destroyed the long range communication console on my star destroyer.

[They are so mature.]

action & video

[darthvaderfanboy]

[Without even turning around, he hovers a destroyed pillow in the air, and tosses it at Hux's face.]

I'm also going to finish it one of these days when I run my lightsaber through your chest.

action & video

[therewillbeorder]

[There is a muffled oomph as the pillow hit Hux square in the face but it came flying back at Kylo's head a moment later.]

That's what you've been saying pretty much every day for the last five years.

[darthvaderfanboy]

[He paused it in the air and let it fall to the floor.]

I haven't had to share a room with you for five years. You're surprisingly adept at building up my rage in a short period of time.

[therewillbeorder]

Even before we came here you could just do your creepy breathing thing and I wanted to shove you out the nearest airlock. No one has ever been able to anger me like your mere existence does.

[darthvaderfanboy]

Considering it's been two months of living together, Hux, I have a suggestion for you.

[He leaned in close.]

Get over it.

[therewillbeorder]

I could say the same to you, Ren.

[He leaned in close as well, not backing down.]

[darthvaderfanboy]

I'm not the one who keeps bringing every little grievance from the past. Learn to pick your battles, general. Or did they bother to teach that to you in whatever backplanet Imperial academy you trained at?

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[iustitiae]

You should probably not be roommates.

[#peanutgallery]

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[darthvaderfanboy]

[Oh sure, provide a reasonable suggestion, Connor.]

I'm not leaving. This is my apartment.

[He looks around at the destroyed state of it.]

Or it was. [Time to move.]

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[iustitiae]

There you go - find a new one, leave him behind to deal with this one.

[darthvaderfanboy]

If only I could. He and I have an...agreement. I'm not giving up on my end no matter how much he makes me want to strangle him to death.

[iustitiae]

What could you possibly be getting out of this?

[darthvaderfanboy]

It's not about what I'm getting out of it.

[Which so far has been a whole lot of fighting, headaches, and bite marks. Don't ask.]

It's about keeping my word.

[iustitiae]

To babysit him? Or annoy him to death?

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[therewillbeorder]

Kylo has a few...problems. No one should have to see that.

[He's still picking up pieces of lamp from his hair but still looks smug.]

video;

[iustitiae]

It doesn't sound like he's the only one.

[all this talk of superweapons god]

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[therewillbeorder]

[He's going to suffocate Kylo in his sleep for his failure to turn off his phone tonight.]

I take it you're referring to the reference to my superweapon.

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[iustitiae]

[its hard to get some when people think youre a mass murderer]

Yeah, like every other person who commented and has a sense of morality.

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[therewillbeorder]

It's called Starkiller, it's my life's work.

[There is definitely pride in his voice. Just recalling seeing the weapon actually fire and destroying an entire star system at once never to put a light in his eyes.]

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[iustitiae]

Well, your life's work is awful.

[yeah!!! he said it!!]

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[therewillbeorder]

While I'm sure there are others who agree with you, many wouldn't. It was like nothing else seeing it fire with the power of an entire star.

[Wow, that's so rude.]

video;

[iustitiae]

People live on those stars, don't they?

[this seems like a violation of intergalactic law]