hadriel | video; what's gonna be left of the world if you're not in it

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video; what's gonna be left of the world if you're not in it

[Sans has something in his hands. It's a bolt of fabric that he runs between his metacarpals with a distant, unfocused precision, something to idly turn between his phalanges as he speaks. Might take a moment to realize that the backdrop to his video ain't the typical one. It's not his room he's sitting in, after all. He's reclining atop a racecar bed. The sheets are perfectly made, as though the owner were planning on returning at some point. On the bedside table, there's a small stack of belongings that clash rather astutely with the layout of the place. A snowglobe, a binder, an ECHOcomm, and at the very far right of the frame, a folded-up sweater vest.

He dropped in to visit some pals of his, you see. Only to find they ain't around anymore.]

For those of you who knew 'em, seems the docs've gone home. You know the ones. Newt and Hermann. [A pause.] Dr. Gottlieb.

[Being a pain in the coccyx suddenly gets to be less funny when there ain't anybody to yell at you about it, huh?]

Hope it's home they went, and not, uh...wherever it was before they got here. Yao know what I'm talkin' about.

[He folds up the cloth in his hands and stands up, grinning at the camera without a lick of despair. Maybe there's somethin' a bit tired to the whole facade, but who can say? He's always tired.]

I hate to tell ya, but it looks like my bro might'a been the guy to slack off for once. Funny, right? Takin' that hard-earned title from yours truly. Here I thought I was supposed to be the guy who nips off without a word.

[Those with sharp eyes might pick up that the cloth ain't just any old thing. It's Papyrus's sash delineating him as an official member of the City Guard - twice torn, twice mended, and now without an owner. Like hell Sans is cut out to wear a thing like this.]

'Pologies to the Guard. Looks like you're one member short. 'Fraid I can't help ya there either; Papyrus, he's got some big shoes to fill.

[He winks at the lens before reaching for the communicator and then, almost as an afterthought, adds:]

Someone ought'a take care of the lab the docs built. Lotta their stuff's still in there, too, and lyin' around my place. Figure it should go to the people who knew 'em best.

[Y'know, whoever that is. But you all know who you are, don't ya?

Yeah. He'd think so.

He cuts the feed.]

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[....sometimes it's like joking with a three year old. And Chara can't exactly call him out on the subject of bad jokes because it wasn't like their own sense of humor was any better.

Still, it takes them an extra minute to respond.]

I'd say that was tear-able but we both know there is no point. But if you wish to be let in, the correct word is 'please'.

[Don't say they never tell you things.]

eh, papyrus is always on at me about manners

[He types it out before it catches up to him. Poor taste, even for him. Coiling sickeningly in his ribcage like a curse, and that'd just sink the knife in, givin' it a little twist, as if they need a reminder of

any of it.]

[There's no pause at all - not from him, anyway.]

whoops.
guess that'll teach me to bark up the wrong plea.

[They started with that joke about manners, in both cases. And probably, somewhere far away, someone is saying keeping these things unsaid is bad for your health.

That was true. But neither of them are particularly healthy individuals.]

As long as you have seen the air-ors of your way, I suppose. The metaphorical door is open.

that an offer?

[Wow, what the hell is he doing]

[There's a delay before Chara replies again.]

Perhaps. But it is your choice to come.

[They'll leave it up to Sans. The apartment is...clean, so there isn't anything to worry about in that department.]

[Why's he considering this. Why is this something he's doing. Maybe 'cause the last time he lost two of his pals, he ended up on their couch.

Habit, maybe.]

your partner?

[Chara isn't sure why they're offering either. There was a resolve to keep themselves out of Sans's business for his own good after that event.

But at the end of the day they're also tired and are in possession of a Sans's sized couch.]

They are not here at the moment. However you will have to endure more knock knock jokes if you come.

[Fair warning.]

i think i can handle it.

[What's he doing.

Apparently, he's ending up outside the kids' place in the absence of anywhere else to go, because lookin' at that immaculately made bed and the way his lounging on it left divets on the sheets, rumpling everything and messing it up from Papyrus's careful spread - it was gettin' to be unbearable.

He knows better than this. Alphys deserves better than this.

But regardless, this is where he ends up.

So.

Knock knock.]

[Sometimes the best thing you can do with Bad Memories is to throw them away. They come back, of course, but it gives you a second or two to not deal with them.

Not that Chara would know about them.

They check the copies before going to the door. So.

Here we are.]

Who's there?

[When you got only 1 HP, Bad Memories ain't so scary. Not that Sans would know, honestly. He ain't much for knowing things he shouldn't when it comes to certain aspects, certain areas.

Certain places he's never been.]

Lettuce.

[Nor have they. But that doesn't mean you can't taste those Bad Memories regardless. Or know who they're attached to.

Still though, you can still enjoy what little time you have left. Like knock knock jokes even though Chara said the door was open.

Or that this feels somewhat familiar.]

Lettuce who?

Lettuce in. It's cold out here.

[No it ain't. And what's the cold matter to a guy who's just bones anyway? It don't. But it's the principle of the thing, and the point of a punchline.

Everyone's laughing.]

[It's good for a laugh - and Sans may hear the undignified snort from behind the door before Chara opens it. They look the same as ever, except the Locket is still missing. Haven't asked Hope yet if it was possible to repair it.]

Considering you live in Snowdin, I am surprised that you are not used to the weather.

[They're not sure if that counts as toeing a line. Mentioning home where Papyrus lived - used to? Who knows. Either way, they step back to let him walk in.]

Knock knock.

[Chara did say he'd have to suffer though a few more, did they not?]

[A snort. Undignified, and yet - reassuringly human in its delivery. It's a relief, seeing 'em look more or less the way they always do. Save for the Locket. Never inquired to the significance of it, and yet - he learned it, one way or another. Phantom memories of the tip of one phalanx dragging languidly over its surface, the winding lettering of Best Friends Forever. Laughing coldly, emptily, mockingly, at their meaning.]

Snow problem. Some flurry-ous weather back home, but we don't gotta worry 'bout that here.

[He enters, but the jokes keep coming. He wouldn't have it any other way. Leans up against the wall with his hands buried in his pockets, the sash still caught between metacarpals, fingertips dragging at the cloth in an unintentional, repetitive motion.]

Who's there?

[Asriel's precious gift to them, the Locket that gave 99 DEF. It wasn't of any use during that fight and Sans's double probably had no use for it either. * You can feel it beating. Could be considered metaphorical - it wasn't like it could be used to track that double - but it was more that something tore at them knowing it was gone.

At the same time, however, Chara knows they can't regret it either. Once again Asriel saved their life.]

Woo!

[This was one of the dumber ones and they have to channel Frisk for it. But that part's easy.]

[That one earns itself a laugh before the punchline even lands. Can you blame him, when he sees it comin' at him a mile and a half off? But it's worth it, 'cause it's a damn stupid joke, and hell if he don't love himself some stupid, mindless, ridiculous jokes.]

Woo who?

[No, there's nothing wrong with stupid, mindless jokes. And it isn't as if Chara hadn't channeled such things during the less dusty paths. Something dry, silly and dumb - and it's not just on those routes, even if that was more dark.

But a laugh is a laugh even if the punchline hits before the joke is done. And while they aren't going to say it to Sans's face, Chara is used to being laughed at. But those types of thoughts are not what either of them are here for. Chara's impression of Frisk and the way that they drop all emotion from their voice.]

Don't get too excited it's just a knock knock joke. I know you are fond of them Sans, but try to keep it on the down-low as to not disturb the neighbors.

[I mean really. A little consideration goes a long way.]

[Do forgive him for not containing his excitement. He ducks his skull slightly, the same way one would to hide a ridiculous grin. He ain't grinning any more than is necessary, but it's the appearances of the thing.]

My mistake. Where're my manners?

[That one's the joke, see; he's got no manners to speak of, and no manner of keepin' track of 'em even if he did.

Silly jokes and one-liners and quips - they're all well and good. But he owes 'em more than that, don't he?]

Sorry to barge in. Guess I just, uh...last time I screwed somethin' up, I ended up here. Feels like somethin' I should do.

[Feels - safe.

Well, it feels like somethin' he should do.]

[A long, long time ago if someone told Chara that Sans would be here in such a way they probably would have laughed. He couldn't stand them. Chara killed Papyrus, the most important thing to Sans, the sure-fire way to remove him from a run. If there was ever a day that Sans forgives them for it Chara was sure they'd drop dead on the spot. And honestly? It wasn't like the path of Genocide was the only one that saw Papyrus dead. This was just the cruelest way for him to go.

Yet here they both are. It's not perfect, but for an apathetic skeleton and a broken child...it works. * It ends with both of us.

They're also tempted to point out that both times were not Sans's fault. He couldn't have controlled the events of Confusions's resurrection no more than he could control who was and wasn't sent back home. Papyrus had mentioned to Chara that they all arrived on the Surface. It felt like something was clawing chunks out of their heart whenever Chara thought about it but at least he had something to go back to. Something happy for someone happy. But that loops back to apologizes and Chara would have to start making jokes about pencils and pointlessness. So no. Instead they just talk.]

Do not worry about it. I have always been the one with poor impulse control, so it's easy to understand. And it's not as if you took a shortcut without prior notice.

[Now that might have gotten ugly. But no one needs to know about that.]

[The hell's he doing, puttin' all this on a kid's shoulders. A kid who craves their own destruction so intensively they're willin' to rip through an entire world to get at it. If he's to do right by 'em -

If you want to do right by Chara, you'll finish what they started.

...

He don't believe it. Call it a personal failing of his, but he still don't buy it. Maybe they wouldn't hesitate, if they all got snapped back to the life and the world they lived before all this. Maybe they'd keep going, cleave through him, send the world spiraling to its termination like the reports stated.

Maybe they wouldn't hesitate.

He knows now without question that he would.]

Nah, I know. Just a bit much bein' in there right now.

[The place is gonna go to hell in a handbasket right quick, without anybody to clean up his and Alphys's collective messes. They'll never hear Papyrus's contented, no-indoor-voice GOOD MORNING! announcements or his good-natured grumbling at how long it takes for Sans to get up, and it'll settle over the house like a funerary shroud.

Not all that appropriate.

So instead he ends up on the doorstep of a kid who, god help him, has come to be somethin' of a friend. Despite everything he's done, everything they've done.

It's absurd.]

[Buttercups don't grow here. There was a part of them - the part that now knew what rock-bottom truly looked like - that was tempted to ask Sorrow for it. But both Frisk and Chara had access to something of the same poison. Digging up the grave of a sleeping man and a handful of conversations that were less than half-remembered. One day those shoulders won't exist for things to be placed on them. One day it will all collapse on the world.

It did collapse. Chara's double was proof of that. Someone who found rock-bottom and dug even further. They had seen the Underground and the Surface go dark. And make no mistake, it was still there. It would always be there because that thing was another "Chara". The only difference was that one of them had torn the world down to the bones. They called and the demon didn't have to follow. It was already there.

But that's just another 'what if?'. There's still Chara's Hope, however. One day their shoulders won't exist for things to be placed on them.

That's then. Now...? Well...buttercups don't grow here, do they?]

I doubt people would fault you for taking a walk.

[Chara can imagine how that house might end up. They're neat by nature and thinking about it nearly makes them wince. But it may be in part because it also makes them think about Alphys.

This whole thing is absurd. People are absurd, the world is and so is time. But hey, at least there's knock knock jokes.]

[For all their frankness, there's something quietly relieving in being able to talk about a thing without talking about it. Somethin' almost defensive in there's no shame in taking a walk. No shame in that, no.

Maybe more than a bit of shame in ending up turning to a kid in order to cope. A kid who's killed his brother, killed his best friend, who's actively researching the ways in which they can no longer exist.

Could he talk 'em down from that edge?

Who the hell knows. He can't even talk himself down, most days. It's just that giving up requires so little, in the grander context, and giving in requires effort on his part.]

I figure, yeah. Who'd question it?

[Still, though.

There are knock knock jokes.

Because he thinks of jokes, he thinks of Wade.]

I hear Wade took care of you guys. While I was, uh, out of it.

[It's freeing to hear those sorts of things. There's no shame in taking a walk. And there shouldn't be. Asgore and Toriel actively encouraged it once Chara found a way to simply be a child and explore. No shame. You shouldn't be shamed.

But there is that, yes. The line between giving up and giving in. They both had discussed it, back when the zombies appeared. The ease of giving up. And that is also freeing in its own way. You can just let go of everything and it requires so very little. The path of Genocide was much the same, like playing a video game with all the cheats turned on. SPARING Monsters was hard. Killing them was easy. It was just the matter two of them being difficult.

On the other hand there is giving in. When one hits rock bottom, it's expected of them to drag themselves out. That's what a good, responsible adult does. They don't wallow in self-pity. But it is not as easy as one might think. And...when you get sick of not being able to see the sky...

...ahaha. Well, they don't need to say it.]

Some people tend to stick their noses in the business of others in this cave. But yes, he did. I still need to thank him.

[Chara had been far too out of it to give Wade a proper thank-you for what he had done. They're still pretty out of it, their LOVE was not displaying properly. But regardless, at the end of the day that man stepped up to help two broken children rather than ignore their call. So that is the least they could do.]

He's good people. I'm glad he kept an eye out for you guys.

[He's been a mess. He's gonna continue to be a mess for a while yet. Hermann and Newt's spontaneous disappearance from the cave so soon after Sans's death and subsequent resurrection - he'll take it hard. It'll be another weight on his back, the knowledge that people he cares about have departed and left him on his own.

Here Sans is spendin' all his time marinating in his guilt and regret and mourning, and he don't even have it as bad. What a selfish lot in life, huh?]

If anybody was gonna - 'm glad it was him.

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