hadriel | two ❀ voice

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two ❀ voice

[Adam is not terribly fond of posting on the network, where anyone can hear and respond, but this is kind of important. He doesn't sound nervous, just - very controlled as he jumps right into it.]

So, I know of at least a couple of people who were here in Hadriel before, left, and then came back. Neither of them have memories of their initial time here.

I'm interested in anyone else who's had the same thing happen, but - I guess this is also a warning. The Door must do something to us when we leave, something that makes us forget the things that happened here. It's up to you whether you think that's good or bad, but everyone deserves to know.

And if anyone has left and come back but does remember things, say something. So far this seems universal, but there's no way to be sure yet.

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[Ronan moves forward at the invitation, letting the door creak to a close behind him as he sits on the foot of Adam's bed, pulling his knees up to settle himself in, cross-legged and facing him.]

You ever wonder if we've forgotten anything?

[There's the barest hint of a smile as Ronan makes himself comfortable. There's nothing strange or particularly intimate about it, it's something a friend would do, but - still.

But the smile disappears quickly, because Adam doesn't like thinking about this.]

I've forgotten things before. There was... a blank space, an awareness that I'd forgotten. I haven't felt like that here, but who knows if it would be the same.

[He doesn't like hearing that Adam has forgotten things in the past. It only serves to remind him of the strange contract Adam has made with Cabeswater and the ramifications of it. Ronan chews at his lower lip for a moment in thought.]

I guess it wouldn't change anything if we had. There's no way to know unless some asshole comes in and tells you about it.

Edited 2016-03-07 04:26 (UTC)

Yeah. There's not much point constantly worrying about it.

[They just have to live like they haven't forgotten anything, and hope that it's true. Otherwise Adam will have one more thing to be afraid of.]

I just don't want to leave and come back and not know what happened.

I'd fill you in.

[Ronan says it like it's casual, but there's a streak of genuine sentiment in there that's hard to miss if you know what you're looking for. He wraps his hands around his knees and tugs them upward idly, fidgety when he's being honest like this.]

What would it take for you to believe me?

I'd believe you. I know you don't lie. But I'd be scared.

[He speaks candidly, honest for the moment. He knows that he wouldn't want to believe what Ronan told him, that part of him would and the rest would be too afraid. But he'd believe that Ronan believed it, at the very least.]

You'd just have to be patient. Or you could take the easy route.

[He doesn't want to imagine a situation in which this could actually happening- Adam forgetting the last eight months, like Gansey, would be horrifically isolating. He'd do the best he could to fill him in and, of course, it would be better than Adam being gone for good, but he still doesn't like the idea.

Luckily, Adam gives him an out from the depressing conversation, and the corner of Ronan's mouth tugs upward in a knifelike smirk.]

Yeah? What's the easy route then, Parrish?

[He likes that smile, and he returns it with one of his own, though he doesn't try to match Ronan's danger. Adam is more amused, maybe a touch sly, teasing.]

What do you think? Kiss me until I believe you.

[He uncurls his legs, nudges Ronan's foot with his own.]

You can be pretty persuasive when you're motivated.

[Ronan arches an eyebrow and shifts forward, arranging his legs under him and crawling up the bed toward Adam. It's not exactly that he's planning anything, but rather, Adam is up there, and with all this talk of kissing, he wants to be up there with him.]

Might have to practice that one. Just in case it happens.

[He grins, moving over a little so there's more space for Ronan. It's not a small bed, and Adam isn't the type to sprawl out anyway, but why not be a little more welcoming? He likes having Ronan closer.]

Oh, yeah. Because you're well-known for being a shitty kisser and should definitely practice all you can.

[He rolls his eyes, plopping himself down next to Adam and leaning with his back against the headboard. The motion knocks their knees together, and Ronan stills for a moment, considering, before leaving it like that, just a small point of contact.]

Well, if you're going to be like that, maybe I won't practice on you.

[He stays like that too, not moving away, leaning in toward Ronan just a little. Subconsciously.]

Are you gonna practice on someone else? I'll warn you that 'no' is the only acceptable answer here.

Who would I practice on?

[Ronan asks him pointedly.]

I hate everyone.

[Adam swallows a laugh. He knows it's true.]

I don't know. Is hate-kissing a thing?

Not for me it isn't.

[Not even during some choice times in his life where it possibly could have been. It's just not the kind of person he is, for which everyone should probably be thankful.

But Ronan sets that aside and instead dips his knee over until it bumps against Adam's own, by means of getting the other boy's attention and focusing back on the conversation at hand.]

Can I?

[He turns a little toward Ronan, leaning against the headboard of his bed. As if Ronan had ever lost his attention, even for a moment. He nudges Ronan's knee in return, though he's still a bit shy about - well. All of this. But shy isn't the same as hesitant.]

Yeah.

[Permission granted, Ronan lets himself smile, like he's won something here somehow and slips forward to kiss him.

He knows that he probably doesn't have to ask. That Adam's answer is likely to be yes, always, after months of wanting and longer of waiting, but he likes asking. He likes the confirmation of where they are, of what Adam wants, of the fact that this is okay now. He likes giving Adam that power, making it clear that he has it, and letting him decide. He likes a lot of things.

He likes this. The kiss is light, sweet almost, and Ronan has kissed him harder than this but some part of him still enjoys this sort of thing- being gentle with him, careful, but sure all the same.]

[It's deeply unlikely Adam's answer will ever be no, but Adam still likes being asked. He likes the carefulness of it, uncontrolled Ronan respecting his boundaries enough to ask, to let him decide. He really can't imagine saying no, though.

He reaches to take Ronan's hand between his, tangling their fingers together as Ronan kisses him.]

Hmm. Okay, you're pretty good at that.

[He teases, just a little, and leans in for another kiss.]

Fuckhead.

[He says it affectionately though, and Ronan pecks back at the second kiss, squeezing Adam's fingers in his own. It doesn't take him long to remember that they're both sitting on Adam's bed and it still feels like too soon for things to grow more heated, and so he breaks away with a little smile tugging at the corner of his mouth and wraps his free arm around his knees.]

You'd probably freak out if I did that out of nowhere, though.

[The same way Ronan asked before kissing him, Adam isn't going to push for anything Ronan isn't comfortable with, so he doesn't go after another kiss or anything more. He keeps hold of Ronan's hand, though, wanting still to get used to this.]

I don't know. I knew you liked me - well, I thought you might, anyway. It wouldn't be such a shock.

[Though no doubt he'd be a little scared and a lot uncertain.]

What about you? Would you believe me if I told you, if you didn't remember?

[He kind of wants to be offended about the idea (or rather, the fact) that Adam knew, but it's difficult to care so much about his own damaged pride when Adam is next to him like this, with their fingers tangled together.

Nevertheless, Ronan makes an unintelligible grunt at the question, considering it for a moment.]

I guess so, yeah. After I made sure you weren't a dream.

I'd find a way to prove it. I have before.

[He lets his thumb drift across Ronan's fingers, stroking gently. He's curious, voice soft.]

Have you dreamed that before?

Dreamed what?

[He asks, tilting his head back.]

You in general, or you telling me about shit I don't remember?

Me in general, I guess.

[He looks at Ronan, a little worried that this is too personal, despite the fact they were just kissing.]

Or me telling you we're together.

Oh.

[That second part, he wasn't quite expecting, and Ronan isn't sure how to answer that. He presses his lips in a thin line, taking his hand away from Adam and leaning forward with his chest against his legs, arms casually draping over his knees.

That's not an easy question to answer.]

You in general, yes. [Even though it feels like a weakness somehow, admitting it, Ronan is honest. He's always going to be honest, but especially about something like this. Adam wants to know and there's no reason not to tell him, save for Ronan's pride and the vulnerability that comes with hinting at the depth of his feeling.]

You telling me- I mean... for starters, you're speaking Latin.

[As if that's going to deter it. Ronan glances back for a moment, meeting Adam's eyes before he cuts away, the corner of his mouth going a little tight- afraid, of course, but also a little darkly amused at the subject matter.]

-and, you know. Sometimes it's more implied.

two ❀ voice

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