second spell [video]

[pocketspa]

[The camera opens up on two near identical elves, sitting shoulder to shoulder. If the denizens of Hadriel remember their last address on the network, this one seems rather tame in comparison (possibly because one of them isn’t a skeleton this time), but they’re still grinning wide. Then again, the last one didn’t start with absolute chaos either. The both of them slide their eyes towards each other, and then in tandem flip some bangs from their faces, grinning directly at the screen.]

Helloooo, Hadriel!

[That can’t be the start of anything good.]

You’re on with the twins, and today, we’re here to grace you with our expertise.

So as the most attractive people in the city, we get asked, uh, pretty much all the time to help out with people’s looks.

Most of y’all are basically hopeless, but we’re givers.

And because we’re, uh, basically the most generous people ever, today we’ve got a special event for the masses.

[Their eyes flick to each other once again before they both ring out in a singsong tone,]

SMASH OR PASS!

[Did that shatter someone’s device speakers? Probably.]

Rules are real simple. You comment. We rate. One to ten.

Couldn’t be easier. You clowns are real lucky to have us. You can come get your assigned hotness level and never have to wonder where you stand in the world ever again.

Also, scores are final. Unless you do some real good sucking up.

Ew, Taako. This is a family friendly broadcast. Keep it PG.

Not that kind, jeez. Sounds like you’re the one who’s thinkin’ about it.

Nope, nope, nope. Double yuck. Not even going there. Anyway, like, comment, and subscribe--

-- If you wanna see more primo twins content from the best duo in Hadriel.

[They both throw up peace signs, Taako sticking his tongue out to really cheese it, and the feed cuts.]

[ooc: Taako is blue, Lup is red, both of them are purple! Specify if you want one or the other because the default is both with a three-way thread! Also, please never think it's too late or too full to tag this. Please get in on the bullshit.]

Comments

video

[knifecollecting]

It's a network. We all see all of this whether we want to or not.

[And well-]

Not everyone's into pointy ears.

video

[pocketspa]

[He puts a hand to his chest with a clearly overdone gasp.]

Wow, elf racism. Rude. Like, I know they look cool as hell and function way better than your little round mouse ones, but these aren’t just a fashion statement, babe.

[restinglichface]

[Lup gasps in perfect time with her twin, said ears perking straight up.]

Yeesh, goin' straight for the racial commentary. That's a pretty low blow. Enjoy your pitiful lifespan, fam, we'll be out here rockin' these ears for another six hundred years.

[knifecollecting]

[Wow, what the heck.]

It's like I don't like brown eyes, come on. [Not racist. Well, speciesist maybe. Not as much anymore.]

[pocketspa]

Nope. We are hashtag offended. Super out of line to comment on. How dare.

[He honestly couldn't care less. But making her sweat it is the goof now. Or, well, trying to.]

[restinglichface]

Pretty sure brown eyes don't define a trait of a whole race, babe. Elven ears though-- [She gives an affectionate flick to the tip of one of Taako's.]

That's elves. That's a race. Booyah. Get wrecked on that knowledge.

[knifecollecting]

There are humans with pointed ears. And Vulcans. [Still, Jo rolls her eyes.]

And if all elves act like you two, I don't enjoy the personalities either.

[pocketspa]

Uhm, sweetie, they're called half elves.

[Duh.]

And it's not our fault you don't know how to have fun. Jeez.

[restinglichface]

Maybe we'd rate you higher than a three if you did.

[knifecollecting]

A three? Only like, werewolves are a three.

Judges are supposed to be fair.

[pocketspa]

Hey, I'm not a furry but werewolves can be hot.

[Stop, Taako, just stop.]

And look, if you think ugly, you look ugly. That easy.

[restinglichface]

Also, just bee-tee-dubs, we gave the actual werewolf of Hadriel an eight.

So, y'know, get good.

[knifecollecting]

Oh, so you're only accurate sometimes. I guess not everyone can be perfect.

[She's gonna shrug here before she hangs up.]