[The camera opens up on two near identical elves, sitting shoulder to shoulder. If the denizens of Hadriel remember their last address on the network, this one seems rather tame in comparison (possibly because one of them isn’t a skeleton this time), but they’re still grinning wide. Then again, the last one didn’t start with absolute chaos either. The both of them slide their eyes towards each other, and then in tandem flip some bangs from their faces, grinning directly at the screen.]

Helloooo, Hadriel!

[That can’t be the start of anything good.]

You’re on with the twins, and today, we’re here to grace you with our expertise.

So as the most attractive people in the city, we get asked, uh, pretty much all the time to help out with people’s looks.

Most of y’all are basically hopeless, but we’re givers.

And because we’re, uh, basically the most generous people ever, today we’ve got a special event for the masses.

[Their eyes flick to each other once again before they both ring out in a singsong tone,]

SMASH OR PASS!

[Did that shatter someone’s device speakers? Probably.]

Rules are real simple. You comment. We rate. One to ten.

Couldn’t be easier. You clowns are real lucky to have us. You can come get your assigned hotness level and never have to wonder where you stand in the world ever again.

Also, scores are final. Unless you do some real good sucking up.

Ew, Taako. This is a family friendly broadcast. Keep it PG.

Not that kind, jeez. Sounds like you’re the one who’s thinkin’ about it.

Nope, nope, nope. Double yuck. Not even going there. Anyway, like, comment, and subscribe--

-- If you wanna see more primo twins content from the best duo in Hadriel.

[They both throw up peace signs, Taako sticking his tongue out to really cheese it, and the feed cuts.]

[ooc: Taako is blue, Lup is red, both of them are purple! Specify if you want one or the other because the default is both with a three-way thread! Also, please never think it's too late or too full to tag this. Please get in on the bullshit.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[It's pretty rare that anyone in this place knows what liches actually are, so Lup's brows arch upwards in surprise at the response, a wicked grin suddenly curling at her mouth.]

When the shoe fits an' all. Liches works a hell of a lot better than gods for those fucks, even if it kinda seems wicked unfair to the actual cool liches in this place.

[Hold on let's just]

... There are liches here?

Uh, yeah. Lup's got a real boner for that sorta thing.

[A nudge. Ba dum tiss.]

We're up to what, three, four not counting the fucks in charge?

[oh taako, what a joker you are]

What can I say? I like t'keep a real close eye on 'em. Liches are pretty bomb.

What about you, sis? You a fan?

I can't say I've ever met one. At least, not to my knowledge. The methods for becoming one are a closely-guarded and rarely-pursued secret, as I understand.

[She doesn't sound bothered, exactly, but perhaps a little cautious.]

"Not to my knowledge."

[He repeats her in a kind of mocking tone, bumping Lup's hip with a snicker.]

Yeah it's uh, real hard to figure out, def. Only for like, real smarties.

[This is her favorite thing to ever happen in her life.]

Oh yeah, real closely-guarded. Must take a total genius to figure that shit out. I've heard of some folks researching for decades and still never getting anywhere.

Edited 2018-05-05 17:45 (UTC)

Right. Well, I don't know much about it.

[Maybe. She knows more than she wants to let on. Lichdom is often the pursuit of those gone mad with power, or those who think themselves cunning enough to work with Bael'zal, Amamot's closest rival in the Abyss, to learn those secrets. They usually end up becoming his thralls. Unpleasant creatures, hence her caution.]

[Oh, they absolutely do too. Taako's a little disappointed she's not playing along so much, but he won't take the reveal from Lup if she wants to give it.]

Well, there's all sorts of magic whatevers here. Werewolves, wizards, whatever cryptid Merle is legally classed as. It just happens.

[Definitely not playing along in the way that Lup wants her to be, the elf's mouth twisting a little before she finally just bursts.]

It's me! It's me. I'm the lich. Way to kill my big reveal. I was this close to droppin' this body just for the bomb entrance.

[Hard to play along if you're not in on the joke! Which - she wasn't. Still isn't, because Lup's sudden declaration is extremely unbelievable. But now it's more clearly a joke at least, and after a moment of looking completely confused, she scoffs a little, humor flooding back into her expression.]

Wow, you look great for being undead! Way to subvert the grotesque skeleton look that seems to be so wildly popular.

[Just some dumb elves playing dumb jokes, sigh.]

[Caedra makes a face like she thinks they're faking, speaks, and Taako absolutely loses it. He bursts with laughter, leaning on Lup for support as he howls into the curve of her neck.]

Oh my god, this is fuckin' classic, holy shit! This is so much better! I take it back, this is amazing, someone send real help.

[Taako howls laughing and Lup gives the other woman the most deadpan look possible. You're killing her, Caedra. And this is coming from a woman who is already dead.]

If I wasn't holding onto this hot bod for an epic booty call later tonight, I hope you know I would burn it up just to prove a point. I know this pretty face doesn't look it, but trust me, I'm all lich.

[These two started out fun and now she's growing to despise them. Jokes are funny until they get turned around on you. Or at least until they get really weird and confusing, which this definitely is.]

I don't have any reason to just trust you. Prove it.

[He's still in a round of giggles as her skepticism continues, and it becomes snickers as he continues.]

Ohmygod, you have magic, figure it out! Use like, true sight or something, I'm not your mom.

[For once, they're actually not lying. Taako may be as he appears- minus a slightly different face, for some reason- but Lup would appear as a skeleton in a red robe. For all their jokes, this isn't one.]

[It may be a little fuzzy over the device, though Lup's true image is her lich form, currently possessing her old body. It's a thing. Try not to think too hard on it.]

Prove it, she says. Like I'm gonna burn up this bod just to prove I'm right.

Taako mentions truesight and no, she doesn't have that, but she does know what she does have. It just - it didn't quite register initially. Video seems to distort her senses. But she focuses, looking for the odd edges, the shape-overlaid-on-shape through the phone's screen.

Her expression noticeably changes when she sees it - it's enough of a shock for her to be unable to mask her reaction in time. Eyes widen, lips part, and she pulls back a little from the screen - and then chuckles, smiling.]

That's a very well-done disguise.

[Taako finally laughs when her expression changes, throwing his head back and knocking his hat clean off. Classic. Totally classic.]

Jeez, about time. You totally ruined the joke, y'know, we were tryin' to get you forever there.

[There. That is just the reaction Lup lives for, though she does jab her twin in the side with a pointy elbow, trying to quiet down his laughter.]

Damn right it is. Genuine, authentic Lup body. Hope made it for me. Cost a few favors, but I'm pretty fond.

second spell [video]

SMASH OR PASS!

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