[The camera opens up on two near identical elves, sitting shoulder to shoulder. If the denizens of Hadriel remember their last address on the network, this one seems rather tame in comparison (possibly because one of them isn’t a skeleton this time), but they’re still grinning wide. Then again, the last one didn’t start with absolute chaos either. The both of them slide their eyes towards each other, and then in tandem flip some bangs from their faces, grinning directly at the screen.]

Helloooo, Hadriel!

[That can’t be the start of anything good.]

You’re on with the twins, and today, we’re here to grace you with our expertise.

So as the most attractive people in the city, we get asked, uh, pretty much all the time to help out with people’s looks.

Most of y’all are basically hopeless, but we’re givers.

And because we’re, uh, basically the most generous people ever, today we’ve got a special event for the masses.

[Their eyes flick to each other once again before they both ring out in a singsong tone,]

SMASH OR PASS!

[Did that shatter someone’s device speakers? Probably.]

Rules are real simple. You comment. We rate. One to ten.

Couldn’t be easier. You clowns are real lucky to have us. You can come get your assigned hotness level and never have to wonder where you stand in the world ever again.

Also, scores are final. Unless you do some real good sucking up.

Ew, Taako. This is a family friendly broadcast. Keep it PG.

Not that kind, jeez. Sounds like you’re the one who’s thinkin’ about it.

Nope, nope, nope. Double yuck. Not even going there. Anyway, like, comment, and subscribe--

-- If you wanna see more primo twins content from the best duo in Hadriel.

[They both throw up peace signs, Taako sticking his tongue out to really cheese it, and the feed cuts.]

[ooc: Taako is blue, Lup is red, both of them are purple! Specify if you want one or the other because the default is both with a three-way thread! Also, please never think it's too late or too full to tag this. Please get in on the bullshit.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[He is t-minus three seconds from just screaming at the top of his lungs until this conversation is over. You're all horrible. Horrible to him. He has never done anything wrong in his life.]

I didn't lose goddamn anything! He's attractive! So what! Am I not allowed to look at any dudes now ever? My tastes are still better than yours! You'd call a pair of jeans on the floor daddy!

[The only good thing about having magic that he maintains over his entire face is that as soon as he knew he was blushing, he could hide it. Can't tease him for what you can't see, fuckers.]

[Taako has had this coming for approximately 200 years. Besides, it's been ages since she's teamed up with anyone to drag her brother. It's a good feeling, especially with how smoothly Nate slips into the role.]

Maybe - [look, why even deny it.] But I sure as fuck don't get all flustered over it. Look at you, babe.

[Struggle all you like, Taako, but Lup reaches forward to grab the phone from where's been propped up, dragging the camera right up into her brother's face. Gotta get all the angles for this one.]

Ever seen an elf blush, Nate? Goes riiiiiight up to their ears. Pretty cute, huh?

[The elf doth protest too much, methinks. Taako's overwhelmingly sudden defense means they've winnowed past that chink in the armor and found purchase in the soft underbelly. He's fucked now, and he's never going to be able to live it down so long as Nate is in Hadriel.]

Wow.

[He says with feigned sincerity, leaning closer to his camera. Chin in hand, boyish grin plastered to his face, Nate presses a few more buttons.]

It's pretty damn adorable.

[This is the worst day of his life, actually. Nate is admitting he looks good and he can't even enjoy it. Coming from a man who had a hundred free deaths and used 8, it should be taken seriously when he thinks he'd rather just be super dead right now. He needs to get his act together though, and fast, so he takes a steadying breath before he gets back into it.]

Yeah, yeah, alright, I'm the most attractive one of the group, we all know this. Not that you need to stop reminding me of how good I look. Nateyboy just wants some validation that the hottest boy on the block sees him, and like, I get it, who wouldn't want me right? Lup, don't get all jealous because he likes my face better than yours.

[There's no getting away with that one, Taako.

Lup drops back into frame, her head perched at his shoulder, arm stretched out in front of her with the phone, before she's reaching up with her free hand to tussle his hair.]

Nice try, nerd, but that was the shittiest deflection I've ever seen.

Weak.

[He might sound disappointed, if not for the clear and apparent smile on his face. Nate - like Lup - remains thoroughly unconvinced, more so because Taako is so defensive about it.]

Don't break Kravitz's heart, man.

[He swats at Lup's hand like a persistent fly, ears betraying how annoyed he is by how low they're sitting. It mostly just makes him look like an overly defensive cat.]

Uh, I'm king heartbreaker alright, can't help it that I got boys fallin' at my feet here. You're the ones pullin' out the microscope to see every pore in my face. I get it. I'm the best. And you're jealous. I've accepted this, graciously even, and you two continue to sling shit that doesn't even matter.

[As close as she is, Lup slips in to press a long kiss to her twin's cheek, smiling there against him, her own ears perked upwards in silent mirth.]

I dunno, Nate, think we've rubbed this in Taako's face enough for one day?

Yeah, we can give him a break.

[As a parting gift, he does another exaggerated stretch of his arms over his head before pointing at the screen.]

But don't think I'm gonna forget this.

Edited 2018-06-18 18:53 (UTC)

[Man, this is where being on video sucks, because he's certain if he was there he could lick Nate from his navel to his neck and win this whole argument. He knows how to win gay chicken and Nate's tell is always physical contact. This is homophobia. He is being discriminated against.]

Oh, me either my man.

[He brings a hand up to prop up his chin, making a show of sucking on one of his fingers while making direct eye contact.]

Call me if I get a private show next time.

Gods, you are so gross.

[Lup rolls her eyes, gives her twin's shoulder a shove, but there's no hiding that victorious grin that curls at her mouth.]

Act as chill as you want, Nate an' I totally dunked on you. Don't even try to pretend otherwise.

Pfft. Dream on, buddy.

[Taako has recovered and it is evident in the way that he looks through the lens. Nate absolutely believes that if this exchange had happened in person, the guy would already be all over him.]

I'll let you keep torturing him, Lup. I gotta... [His gaze drifts out of frame for a moment, catching something behind the camera, and Nate's mouth quirks in a crooked smile.] ...I got a thing. To do. Uh. Right now.

[He bumps Lup's shoulder back, pursing his lips at her in a pout.]

Neither of you can prove anything and that's a fact.

[But, he does see Nate's eyes drifting, and he immediately pulls into a smirk and yells--]

HEY ELENA, NICE TITS, GOT HIM ALL WARMED UP FOR YOU!

Sounds fake. Trust me, 'Ko, I have all of your receipts.

[Oh no, but if there was ever a good way to distract the twin's attention, it sure was that. Way to go, Drake.]

GET IT GIRL!!!

[In the background, there's laughter.

(They are nice tits. Thanks guys!!!)]

second spell [video]

SMASH OR PASS!

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