duel 11. video (cw: death or dying)

[puzzlingly]

「It's been a while since he's made a video post in which he looks actually serious, he doesn't look sad for a change, just thoughtful.

When he finally speaks he does it uncharacteristically (for him) quietly, even though, firm.」

How do you deal with loss?

When people leave this place or, when you know you will never see someone you care for again?
When they pass away.
Do you try to forget about them... or... 「No, that thought actually hurts.」

What is that helps you to move on?

「If they do at all.

This has been in his mind ever since Maedhros and Celebrimbor were gone, and even way before. He didn't knew them personally, but he could see how much pain their departure had caused — only one person had made him feel that way, but it wasn't Yugi who left, it was him. Atem left them all and he cannot help but wonder, was he the cause of grief among his loved ones, the ones that survived him when he decided to give up his life, and then when he had to move on from the world of the living a second time?

He doesn't wish to think so highly of himself, but it's hard, specially when all his life the world did use to revolve around him. But he worries about those he left behind, they would be fine, wouldn't they? Heh, if only they knew he hasn't moved on at all, that he still talks to his partner in his head all the time... What a little hypocrite.」


「private text: Kaiba Seto」

Mokuba is gone.

「But Atem is sure he already knows. He doesn't expect a reply.」

Comments

[unphase]

[how do you deal with loss when you're the one who left everyone behind? she didn't want to die, she's only fifteen and in love for the first time. grife, she's not even sure she is dead]

I'm trying to remember the good times, when I was happy. It helps a little, but then I remember that I'm all alone here and then I feel bad again.

I don't know how I'll move on.

[puzzlingly]

「Isn't that the big question...?」  

Heh... it's a vicious cycle.

「Ah, the irony, they are stuck in the same hell.」

Maybe we don't have to.

「Sounds selfish, though. Well, he's always been a little selfish... Not enough, though; it wasn't as if he wanted to die (questionable, at the time) but it had to be done.」

[unphase]

[big and unanswerable]

It is.

[she'd like to get out of that boat and get some answers, but she doubts that will happen]

Maybe not. I don't want to forget my friends or Jo or even my mom. So I'll keep remembering, even when it hurts and I want to go home.

[there's nothing wrong with being a little selfish. she never would've joined the Legion or gotten into a relationship with Jo if she wasn't selfish]

[puzzlingly]

I have forgotten before, 「Oh, he's on sharing mode, that's unusual.」 everything, people, even myself. It... It wasn't so bad, nothing hurt then.

「But he's not sure he'd ever want to go back to that state, it was clear he didn't want to remain like that forever since he risked so much to get his memories and himself back.」

[unphase]

But did anything feel good then? Or was it . . . nothingness? [that's what she fears, nothingness. she's always been deeply emotional and she's let it steer her for most of her life. one little mistake aside, it hasn't steered her wrong]

[puzzlingly]

「What a good question. He seems to think about it, it had also been a bit of a while ever since, it feels like it was so long ago and for a long time he didn't think he'd like remember about it, but here we are.」

At times it felt good, when being with people that would be around no matter what and that for some reason would care about me, but mostly, when I was alone it was... nothingness indeed.

「No pain, but also nothing else. Probably not the best state to be in.」

I guess I wouldn't recommend it.

「A bit of a pause.」

May I know your name?

[unphase]

[she waits patiently for him to answer. she knows that some questions have no easy answers]

Being around friends is better.

[she misses her fellow Legionnaires and Jo more than she can say. it's like a constant ache in her heart]

I didn't think so.

[she waits]

Tinya Wazzo. What's yours?

[puzzlingly]

It certainly is.

「He gives her a sympathetic stare, he has friends here but, it feels wrong to even think about it but it's not the same.」

Atem, my name is Atem. Nice to meet you Tinya.

「Even after so long, the ring of his name still brings him some glee, after all, he had forgotten it for a long time.」

You haven't been here for long, have you?

「The name isn't familiar.」

[unphase]

[she nods in response to his answer. she's met some people who seem nice enough, but she's nowhere near having friends yet]

And you as well, Atem.

[she can hear the glee in his voice and reflected in his eyes. in a way, it makes her jealous. she knows it will be a long time before she's able to feel something like glee when all she wants to do is go home]

No, I haven't. I arrived a week ago and I'm still getting [she glances around herself and rubs at her arms] settled.

[puzzlingly]

「Oh, she's brand new alright, he sympathizes with her, even though he barely remembers now how difficult it was when he first arrived. In truth, the sensation hasn't changed at all even after almost a year.」

Anything you need, I could try to help you.

[unphase]

[incredibly new and incredibly unsettled. she's fifteen years old, which counts as an adult in her world but she's not feeling very grown-up lately]

...I could use a friend?

[puzzlingly]

「A friend? Really? It feels a little weird to be asked that, not because of her no, because somehow, he wouldn't expect him to be a good friend lately.」

I can do that.

「But he can try, and hopefully, he won't disappoint her much.」

[unphase]

[it feels a little weird to have to ask that. she had friends aplenty in the Legion. not many before that, her mother didn't approve of the types of people Tinya tried to befriend. but she was with the Legion long enough to become accustomed to having friends to turn to and being alone in this place is strange]

Thank you. Should I tell you a little about myself or would you rather start?

[trying will count for a lot]

[puzzlingly]

Heh, if you wish, I wouldn't know where to start.

「Often it is easier just to find a common ground and whatnot, but she seems to actually need someone to talk to, he can do that.」

[unphase]

[she considers] Well, I'm fifteen years old. My home planet is Bgztl, a planet in perfect orbital and rotational sync with Earth, it's just in another dimension. And before I came here, I was Apparition of the Legion of Super-Heroes.

[she sounds wistful. she misses the Legion like it's a constant ache in her heart]

[puzzlingly]

Super-Heroes... Like with, super powers and stuff?

「Legion!? Damn! Okay, that was something kind of amazing.」

Wait, what do you mean you were "apparition"?

[unphase]

Yes, with super powers! Everyone had one and it couldn't be something based on technology.

[it was amazing. she loved nearly every moment of it. she had more friends than she'd ever had in her entire life and she met her boyfriend because of the Legion]

That was my codename. I can become intangible so that physical attacks, weapons fire, and even magic can't hurt me.

[but her guard was down for just a moment, a moment. and now she's here]

[puzzlingly]

That's amazing...

「Like stuff coming right from a manga. Sure sure, people here had powers too but they weren't superheroes!」

That will help you here more than you can imagine.

「Hopefully...」

[unphase]

It really is. [a pause] I miss them all a lot.

[s lot is an understatement]

Really? What makes you say that?

[puzzlingly]

「She's gonna be doing that a lot... Can't even say anything about it.」

This place is dangerous. But I'm sure you might have realized that already.

[unphase]

[she nods]

I have some idea. I know that the . . . creatures which are not killed make their way to the populace. And I've heard rumor of a [she sounds disbelieving] demon?

private video.

[puzzlingly]

「Oh man don't get him started on that. But just in case, he change to private, he's not about to give Caedra an easy target.」

Yeah, the black eyes are a dead give away, just try to stay away from it. It might let you live for all we know.

private video.

[unphase]

[theoretically, she could phase out of danger, but that's assuming she saw the attack coming]

So demons are real here. They're only myth where I'm from. Black eyes, though? I haven't met anyone like that. [a short laugh] I guess I should consider myself lucky.

private video.

[puzzlingly]

You're lucky indeed, the demon is not here for the moment...— some people went on an expedition to retrieve fragments from the Door that's been brining people here. It... got recruited to help, I guess you could say...

「What can he say, some people are shortsighted.」

Anyway... I guess it's my turn, right?

「After crossing more than two words with her, he's much more comfortable.」

private video.

[unphase]

[a line creases between her brows] Really? But looking for Door fragments is a good thing. Why would it help with something good?

[to ally themselves with a demon, she'd say so]

It is, you're right.

[she feels comfortable around him as well]