duel 11. video (cw: death or dying)

[puzzlingly]

「It's been a while since he's made a video post in which he looks actually serious, he doesn't look sad for a change, just thoughtful.

When he finally speaks he does it uncharacteristically (for him) quietly, even though, firm.」

How do you deal with loss?

When people leave this place or, when you know you will never see someone you care for again?
When they pass away.
Do you try to forget about them... or... 「No, that thought actually hurts.」

What is that helps you to move on?

「If they do at all.

This has been in his mind ever since Maedhros and Celebrimbor were gone, and even way before. He didn't knew them personally, but he could see how much pain their departure had caused — only one person had made him feel that way, but it wasn't Yugi who left, it was him. Atem left them all and he cannot help but wonder, was he the cause of grief among his loved ones, the ones that survived him when he decided to give up his life, and then when he had to move on from the world of the living a second time?

He doesn't wish to think so highly of himself, but it's hard, specially when all his life the world did use to revolve around him. But he worries about those he left behind, they would be fine, wouldn't they? Heh, if only they knew he hasn't moved on at all, that he still talks to his partner in his head all the time... What a little hypocrite.」


「private text: Kaiba Seto」

Mokuba is gone.

「But Atem is sure he already knows. He doesn't expect a reply.」

Comments

[outofthefire]

God, I know. Too bad there's not a god of boredom, he'd always be full.

I take archery lessons with Cecily. It. . . seemed like a good idea.

[because Caedra showed up and left Laura stuck living with a demon again]

[puzzlingly]

Heh, yeah, tranquility might get it, though.

「Archery, huh, color him surprised.」

Did you find it hard to learn?

「Can't they take a break from that stuff already?」

[outofthefire]

There's a huge difference between being tranquil and being bored. Tranquility is not doing something and being cool with it. Boredom is not doing something and wishing you could.

[they had archery lessons in high school, it seemed sensible to go with that]

A little? I already knew some stuff, but I need to get faster.

[no relief from demons, unfortunately]

[puzzlingly]

Don't you practice every day?

[outofthefire]

I do. Every day. I know I can't count on anyone to defend me but me, so I'm trying to get as good as possible.

[puzzlingly]

I understand.

「He idly wonders if she had any unfortunate encounter lately.」

Good luck with that.

[outofthefire]

[every encounter with Caedra is unfortunate. even though Laura knows she can't kill her as long as she wears her ring, she knows that she's the only one here with such protection]

Thanks. I'll probably need it if I ever have to--well. Do something.

[puzzlingly]

「It's so unfortunate they don't know more of the other, maybe it'd bring her a little peace of mind to find out what Atem has been working on for the past month. He and Carlisle managed to make something just as powerful for one of his closest friend without even knowing it, among some less powerful items to work against the demon's powers. That, if he could, he would make one of those for every single person in Hadriel, but that's why he'd rather look into other kind of... methods to hold Caedra down.」

It's not a terrible skill to have anyway. It's been a long time since I practiced archery, but it can be even a little fun.

「He knows they cannot afford that sort of entertainment, that's the point of learning is to actually kill rather than hit just some targets, but it could be fun anyway!」

But that's not all you have, right?

[outofthefire]

[it would. she feels strangely. . . responsible for Caedra as though just her presence summoned a demon in place of BOB. she'd rather it was BOB, at least he kept his torment to just Laura instead of taking it out on the entire town. but in the meantime, Laura keeps tabs on Caedra as best as she can and she practices her archery]

Yeah, and I can feel myself getting better. Like I've got actual muscles in my arms now. And it is fun.

[she wouldn't use it against anyone but Caedra. or the Null, if they came back]

Not all I have? What d'you mean?

[puzzlingly]

「It's strange how... he feels exactly the same. It is part of him to be against everything that's evil after all, it came as part of his job as Pharaoh and all that jazz.」

Can you protect yourself in a shorter range?

「That's what he means.」 

Pepper spray, maybe? I heard those were a thing.

「Okay he might be joking a little there, but it wouldn't be a terrible idea!」

[outofthefire]

[and Laura's just a girl who's suffered greatly at the hands of a demon and doesn't want to see the same thing happen to anyone else]

Not. . . really? I guess I should look into that, huh?

Do they have that at the armory?

[no, it wouldn't, but she's not sure how effective it would be against a demon]

[puzzlingly]

「Same, man... same. One doesn't quite get over the fact a demon destroyed their homeland and killed most of their people after all. But people don't listen.」

Nope. Ask Rage maybe, I'm sure she'd have a field day with that.

「It would only make it angrier! But just getting to laugh at the face it'd make would make it all worth it.」

[outofthefire]

[no, they don't. and people actually seem to trust it. that blows her mind in a bad way]

I'd have to do something for her, right? I've never done the whole "ask the gods for stuff" thing before.

[not gonna lie, she would love to be able to laugh in Caedra's face. she would love it a lot]

[puzzlingly]

「He'd get it...」

Yeah, maybe she'll ask you to piss someone off. You can try with me, if you want. I don't mind, mostly because, she needs the power too.

「He's weird like that. And He would love to piss the demon off! Are they are far too gone?」

[outofthefire]

[she considers]

I used to be really good at pissing people off. I've kind of been trying to avoid that here. Not on purpose, exactly, it's just that it's easier to try to get along with people.

[probably? pissing Caedra off is like pissing a lion off]

[puzzlingly]

「Lions are big kitties tho, not abominations.」

You know I'm joking right? But, either way, it might be wise to have a close range weapon with you as well.

「A knife to the gut was still a good thing against a corporeal demon that could bleed.」

[outofthefire]

[this is true]

Yeah? Okay. I guess I'll check the armory, see what I can find. Not a sword, that would take way too much training, but a knife would probably work.

[she's glad that she doesn't have to go to the gods after all. for the most part, she prefers to ignore their presence as much as possible]

[puzzlingly]

Swords are not for everyone. And, I agree, something small and unpredictable.

「It goes with a wink. Ah! If she only knew!」

how did I miss this?

[outofthefire]

Not for me. And it will need to be something I can hide on me, easy, but still have some oomph behind it. [she pauses] I wonder if they have switchblades at the armory?

[she'd prefer a gun. even a plain revolver would be better than nothing, but she has no idea how to get one. she does, however, know how to use it]

it's ok!

[puzzlingly]

「What a genius idea! But no, he doesn't think there might be any of those in the armory, which turns him into thinking mode.」

Do you know any of the elves? Maglor, Curufin?

[outofthefire]

[no, likely not. such things probably aren't handed out to just anyone]

No, I don't. I've seen them around, of course, but I never got to know 'em. Why?

[puzzlingly]

「It's not like Rage would care really.」

Let's just say they are very good at forging and crating stuff. Curufin helped me fix a pair of blades that originally were part of a monster so I could use them for battle. They are also very nice.

「In case she needs a friend or so.」

[outofthefire]

[she'd probably be thrilled]

Really? They sound like useful friends to have. As well as nice. [she chuckles] We could use a little more nice around here.

[puzzlingly]

... I'm sorry if you haven't been lucky in that regard.

「The people who is brought by the Door often is too wrapped around their own problems to try to be kind to others, not their fault, really. He could certainly love it if there were more nice people too. It's hard to put up stuff at times anyway.」

[outofthefire]

I have a few close friends. That's more than I had back in Twin Peaks. There, all I had was Donna.

[and their friendship and Laura's feelings for her were. . . complicated. but Laura's lack of friends here can be traced back to her having problems trusting anyone with the full truth of who she was]