Peter Parker (
itsnotaonesie) wrote in
hadriel2019-01-21 09:41 pm
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VOICE ; forward dated to the 23rd, late evening
Hey everyone, this is Peter. I'm, uh... Just lemmie-- Okay, I'm gonna preface this with "I'm fine", which... probably still sounds concerning to anyone who knows me. Uh, with good reason, but I promise that I really am fine.
Okay? Okay.
So... okay, you know those freaky tentacle snails that attacked those guys a little while ago? Yeah, they're still around. I ran into a few of them outside the city, and by 'ran into' I mean 'was totally ambushed by'. Like, I was just minding my own business and they jumped out all "Blahhhhgh!" and I was like "oh snap!!", so yeah, we fought a little and I got bit and, y'know, it hurt. And I know the one guy was all "hey call for back up if you see any" and I totally would have if I'd had a chance, but I didn't? I mean, not because I didn't want to, it's just like, in the moment I was a little distracted by trying to get away from the things, and I didn't have my web shooters on me because they're possessed by demons right now? So I wasn't gonna even try to catch one of those guys without my gear, so I left. My toothbrush tried to stab me this morning, I'm not dealin' with this on top of that today. I'm done, I'm tapping out!
Anyway, if anyone else ends up fighting these guys, go for the eyes if you can. They're kind of hard to hit because of all the tentacles, but if you can take their eyes out it slows them down. They're still dangerous, though, like, they will absolutely still try to fight you, so just like, don't stick around if you can help it. In fact, just don't go outside the city by yourself. Don't go anywhere by yourself. Y'know, buddy system up if you can. I don't know how many of these dudes are still out there, but I have a feeling that they're not going away any time soon.
Oh right, I did manage to break a chunk off one of their shells. I don't know how helpful that's gonna be? But I've got it at the lab if anyone wants to see it, assuming you can pry it away from Newt. I also got a photo! It's... not a very good one, but uh, I'll put this somewhere, I guess.
[attached photo: A City Boy Seconds Before Being Chomped By A Tentacle Monster.]
Okay? Okay.
So... okay, you know those freaky tentacle snails that attacked those guys a little while ago? Yeah, they're still around. I ran into a few of them outside the city, and by 'ran into' I mean 'was totally ambushed by'. Like, I was just minding my own business and they jumped out all "Blahhhhgh!" and I was like "oh snap!!", so yeah, we fought a little and I got bit and, y'know, it hurt. And I know the one guy was all "hey call for back up if you see any" and I totally would have if I'd had a chance, but I didn't? I mean, not because I didn't want to, it's just like, in the moment I was a little distracted by trying to get away from the things, and I didn't have my web shooters on me because they're possessed by demons right now? So I wasn't gonna even try to catch one of those guys without my gear, so I left. My toothbrush tried to stab me this morning, I'm not dealin' with this on top of that today. I'm done, I'm tapping out!
Anyway, if anyone else ends up fighting these guys, go for the eyes if you can. They're kind of hard to hit because of all the tentacles, but if you can take their eyes out it slows them down. They're still dangerous, though, like, they will absolutely still try to fight you, so just like, don't stick around if you can help it. In fact, just don't go outside the city by yourself. Don't go anywhere by yourself. Y'know, buddy system up if you can. I don't know how many of these dudes are still out there, but I have a feeling that they're not going away any time soon.
Oh right, I did manage to break a chunk off one of their shells. I don't know how helpful that's gonna be? But I've got it at the lab if anyone wants to see it, assuming you can pry it away from Newt. I also got a photo! It's... not a very good one, but uh, I'll put this somewhere, I guess.
[attached photo: A City Boy Seconds Before Being Chomped By A Tentacle Monster.]
[ voice ]
The one thing that catches his attention in all of Peter's rambling is the mention of the web shooter, because he has no idea what that is. ]
What are web shooters and how would those help you against a monster like that?
[ voice ]
I mean, they're just what they sound like. Devices that shoot web. Synthetic webs, not like, actual spider webs. I designed it to be strong, like, it can hold a ton of weight. Pinning one of these guys down with it would have been easy.
[ voice ]
I've never seen anything like that. It sounds fascinating.
[ And completely useless, if Kylo is being honest. But, for those who don't have the Force, he could maybe see where something like that would be useful in battle. He'd love to see it in action and see how it stands up against somebody like himself or Anakin. ]
We don't have web shooters or anything similar in my galaxy.
[ voice ]
As far as I know, I'm the only one that uses them in my galaxy. I kind of invented them.
[And then tony stark made them look cooler and added about a million new features because he has no chill, but shhh.]
[ voice ]
There aren't others like you in your galaxy? That use these web shooters, that is.
[ voice ]
I can't say for certain that there aren't in the whole galaxy. I've only been off of Earth like, once, and we ended up on a dead planet anyway. I feel like it's safe to say that I'm it, though.
[ voice ]
You weren't able to easily travel between planets?
[ Hux told him about the planet Earth, one that a lot of the city's inhabitants came from and that neither man had ever heard of. He's only been here a month, and he still has so much to learn about everybody else in this city. ]
[ voice ]
[It's full of humans, it's not that exciting.]
[ voice ] -> [ brief video ] -> [ voice ]
[ Kylo was shocked and a little offended at this phone they're being made to use. They didn't even have something this useless when he was a child, and that was nearly 30 years ago.
He's been navigating around the place he shares with Hux fairly well while talking to Peter, the appliances and kitchen utensils had been behaving themselves for the most part, but he let his guard down for two seconds and suddenly several forks come flying at him from the kitchen. In an attempt to stop them with the Force, not drop the phone, and save himself from getting stabbed, he turns the video on.
It takes several seconds before he notices, so it's likely that Peter saw his arm stretched toward the entirety of his cutlery, said cutlery frozen mid-air.
When Kylo notices the video on, he mumbles several curses before switching back to voice. ]
Stars, the kitchen decided to turn against me again. This is the third or fourth time since sunrise that our kitchen has attacked either myself or my [ Associate? Co-worker? ] roommate.
[ Peter certainly understands, right? ]
[ voice ]
[but today is not that day. He's about to make some stupid Back to the Future joke, but then buddy boy over here starts juggling his phone or something and it takes Peter a couple seconds to realize just what it is that he's seeing.
And that's some dope-ass telekinesis shit WOW. Look he's seen Star Wars a THOUSAND times he has a good idea of where this is going. Did that guy look familiar? Is Peter just tripping balls? I mean, probably.]
Oh. Yeah, man, I know how that goes. Our knife drawer decided to launch itself at me this morning. A trick like that would have been pretty nice.
[TELL HIM ABOUT YOUR HOVER TRICK WAS IT THE FORCE IT'S THE FORCE ISN'T IT]
[ voice ]
What I did is not a trick.
[ And he's going to leave it at that, not really keen on explaining what he did or why he could do it. It's complicated and he certainly doesn't expect this kid to understand. ]
[ voice ]
Hey man, my bad. We just don't have anything like that where I'm from, is all.
[Technically]
[ voice ]
[ That he knows of, anyway. The Force is unique, it connects everything in the universe, flows through all... And Kylo didn't think that he'd ever find people the Force didn't flow through before finding himself stuck here. It's different, unnerving, unnatural, and he hates it. He can't sense these people, can't feel them, though he's certain his abilities still work on them (he hasn't tried that, yet). ]
Those abilities don't exist outside of my galaxy.
[ voice ]
[there's like a dozen different Earth's represented here like, how many Earths do we even need?]
And uh, just so we're on the same page, what exactly do you call it? My mind went straight to some kinda sci-fi telekinesis thing, but... I mean, I don't know, y'know?
[ voice ]
There are even people in his own galaxy who don't believe it. ]
It's known as the Force, not some sci-fi telekinesis thing. [ He sighs, irritated ] It flows through all living things, though it's more powerful in a select few. We have the ability to harness its power, sometimes it runs in families.
[ He's not going into more detail. There really isn't much more to say since Peter doesn't need to know about his entire family history and the different powers and sides of the Force, etc etc. ]
[ voice ]
Ah-hah, I gotcha.
[yep that's. that's all he needs to hear, buckeroo.]
[ voice ]
What does that mean?
[ voice ]
It means I can rub two brain cells together and form a basic idea of what all that means?
Or probably not, but hey.
[Don't force choke me bro]
[ voice ]
I'm no fool. Answer my question, what did you mean by that?
[ voice ]
Okay, okay.
Okay.
Okay. So this might sound weird? But in my universe, there's kind of a similar thing? But it's completely fictional. It's like, in movies?
[ voice ]
Explain further.
[ voice ]
What, you want me to get into the fan theories? Who shot first? How Disney's going absolutely nuts with the franchise? It's a bunch of fictional stories about like, a space war and stuff. I'm not sure what you're wanting from me, dude.
[ voice ]
Fan theories? Disney? Do you think my abilities are fictional?
[ If you want a demonstration, he'll gladly show you how none of the things you think are fictional are actually fictional. Just saying. ]
[ voice ]
No, dude, listen. Where I'm from, yes, it is fictional. But-- and this is a very important but, here-- I one hundred percent believe that you can totally do this stuff because it's real where you came from.
Y'know, I really think that you're like hyper focusing on the complete wrong part of literally everything that I was even talking about before? Just? Maybe? A little bit?
[This is it this is how Peter dies again.]
[ voice ]
He takes a deep breath, attempting to calm himself because he doesn't want to destroy his home here - there are no troopers or officers to clean up his mess. ]
So, you're telling me that you know where I'm from, know what the Force is, and my galaxy is nothing but some holo?
[ It doesn't matter that he initially spoke to Peter because the web shooter intrigued him, that's the least of his concerns at this point. ]
[ voice ]
[ voice ]
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