hadriel | VOICE ; forward dated to the 23rd, late evening

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VOICE ; forward dated to the 23rd, late evening

Hey everyone, this is Peter. I'm, uh... Just lemmie-- Okay, I'm gonna preface this with "I'm fine", which... probably still sounds concerning to anyone who knows me. Uh, with good reason, but I promise that I really am fine.

Okay? Okay.

So... okay, you know those freaky tentacle snails that attacked those guys a little while ago? Yeah, they're still around. I ran into a few of them outside the city, and by 'ran into' I mean 'was totally ambushed by'. Like, I was just minding my own business and they jumped out all "Blahhhhgh!" and I was like "oh snap!!", so yeah, we fought a little and I got bit and, y'know, it hurt. And I know the one guy was all "hey call for back up if you see any" and I totally would have if I'd had a chance, but I didn't? I mean, not because I didn't want to, it's just like, in the moment I was a little distracted by trying to get away from the things, and I didn't have my web shooters on me because they're possessed by demons right now? So I wasn't gonna even try to catch one of those guys without my gear, so I left. My toothbrush tried to stab me this morning, I'm not dealin' with this on top of that today. I'm done, I'm tapping out!

Anyway, if anyone else ends up fighting these guys, go for the eyes if you can. They're kind of hard to hit because of all the tentacles, but if you can take their eyes out it slows them down. They're still dangerous, though, like, they will absolutely still try to fight you, so just like, don't stick around if you can help it. In fact, just don't go outside the city by yourself. Don't go anywhere by yourself. Y'know, buddy system up if you can. I don't know how many of these dudes are still out there, but I have a feeling that they're not going away any time soon.

Oh right, I did manage to break a chunk off one of their shells. I don't know how helpful that's gonna be? But I've got it at the lab if anyone wants to see it, assuming you can pry it away from Newt. I also got a photo! It's... not a very good one, but uh, I'll put this somewhere, I guess.

[attached photo: A City Boy Seconds Before Being Chomped By A Tentacle Monster.]

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I guess someone's gonna have to figure that out eventually, huh.

[He doesn't really want to think about that right now, especially not when there's A SCIENCE to do]

Super good. I'm sure I'll be fine, though.

Yeah. I haven't met anybody whose world I'd particularly want to go to. So maybe some other place with superheros so we can fit in.

[it's always in the back of her mind, what's going to become of her when she leaves.

she sounds vaguely doubtful] If you say so. I wonder if the Clinic has--what was it called?--rabies shots?

That wouldn't be bad. I'm also really good at pretending to be normal, though? I was back home at least, I could probably fake it somewhere else too.

[That's a tomorrow problem that Peter is actively avoiding. Y'know, like a responsible adult does.]

I definitely don't need any shots. I'm fine. I'm super fine. I am so fine right now.

I guess I could, too. The only real difference between me and a Terran is the part of my brain which lets me see the other dimension and phase. And no one would notice it unless they knew what they were looking for. I'd miss flying, though. And phasing.

[she'll be the responsible one, then. she is an adult in her world, after all]

All right. I'm glad to hear it. The--I don't even know what to call them. Aliens? Crustaceans? Whatever they are, they sound pretty tough.

Eh. Just fly and phase when nobody's around. Or, get a cool mask and just go nuts. Good strategy, can confirm.

[At least one of them is a mature adult]

Squidbillies.

I've decided that they're Squidbillies.

[in a faux-snooty voice] And cover up this beautiful face? Never.

[she has her moments.

and she bursts out laughing and her voice goes back to normal]

I guess that's as good of a name as any!

[Oh my god what a dork]

I'm just sayin', secret identities make everything way easier. Well, most things.

[who's the dork? because if the answer is "both of them," then yes]

I can imagine. Unfortunately, we didn't really have the luxury of that. "Three superpowered teens save trillionaire industrialist from assassination attempt" is big news. Those same three superpowered teens founding an entire Legion of Super-Heroes with the trillionaire industrialist's help? Even bigger news.

[I mean yes both of them for sure]

See, you should have started with wearing a mask. Then you never woulda had this problem.

[she'd rather hear "beautiful and sophisticated," but she'll settle for that]

Really? So, what, they should've been wearing masks on the transport to Earth before they saved the trillionaire industrialist?

[Why not all three?]

That's absolutely what I'm saying, yes. Find a time machine, go back in time and put on a mask. Problem solved.

[she'll take it!

and she's laughing] Even when I'm from we don't have time machines, are you kidding me?

What, seriously? You'd thing that they would have figured that out by the year 3000. But then a bunch of weirdos would probably run around in the past changing history all weird. I guess we can't have that.

[still laughing] Exactly. People would be trying to kill baby Hitler, baby Trump, it would be a mess!

MMmmmmmm...

[She can't see it but he's just shrugging like EEEHHHH]

I'm not going to encourage murder.

[she sounds serious] Neither am I. Those were some dark times in humanity's past, but who knows how things would have turned out without them. With a time machine, the urge to play god would be way too high.

You know what, let's just never invent a time machine. There are absolutely things I would change aaaaand I don't want that temptation.

Right. Got it. Never invent a time machine. Not that we could with the tech available here.

I mean, I could try to build one out of Null parts and the thirty cans of anchovies I have in the pantry.

...Why do I still have those anchovies.

[she makes a "yeccch!" face]

I don't know why you'd even have one can of anchovies. Much less thirty. Are you stockpiling in case the aliens sprock things up again?

Hey! They're great on pizza! Just... not so great by themselves. And no, I'm not really stockpiling them. I really just wanted to save them for pizza.

I have never once had an anchovy, but I've heard legends about them. Legends that say they give those who eat them bad breath.

Well so does garlic, but garlic is delicious and amazing. Just brush your teeth and you're fine.

Garlic is delicious and amazing, but garlic doesn't come with little bones that get stuck in your teeth. At least that's what the old stories say. Eating animal or fish flesh is so 25th century.

Okay, the bones can suck, I'll give you that.

Now, okay, to be fair, humans are omnivores. Evolution has decided that we are meant to eat animals and plants. It's just natural.

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audio (cw: making light of assassinations?)

audio (cw: making light of assassinations?)

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audio - and wtf was up with that icon? that was not the icon I meant to use!

audio - looks like a good "UGH ANCHOVIES" icon to me

audio - okay, that's a good point

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