two; video

[iustitiae]

Hey! Guys! Did you know there are demons here?

[hey look it's connor with the best/worst sarcastic message for you today. many posts lately have been about demons and justifiably so but connor is a shitposter and he's back so hang on or hang up on him. (that's the better option lets all be honest with ourselves)]

Since we're all smart people who definitely aren't going outside to get possessed or die on the network -- seriously, please, stop doing that -- I figured we should at least pick a game to pass the time. You know, like being on a long road trip and playing "I Spy" or some shit.

[he starts to say something else but apparently thinks better of it, because he smiles instead and reconsiders his words]

No, actually, first - a bunch of you guys are sleeping together, right? But who isn't? The lack of having an app to prove we're all cute, single, available people is clearly an oversight. (Really, pong before tindr? Also, calling it now: please, spelunkr, make it happen.) Discuss among yourselves.

[but oh right the game he seems to only remember now that's where he started, and he's maybe a little tipsy but wouldnt you be if THERE WERE DEMONS and people were doing dumb things like getting almost killed or worse on the network]

Oh, yeah, the game. Hot or Not. Post a picture of yourself and other people rate it for hotness. Honestly I'm not even going to care if you post a picture of someone not yourself. Have at it, kids.

Comments

[enchangement]

[ Grinning right back. ]

Good feelings are important! Like when...

When Steve smiles at you and it's just because and your chest gets tight?

Good feeling. Self esteem. Important.

[wipedclean]

[He tugs on his hair, makes a face.]

I guess.

[He can't deny the chest getting tight part. Or that it feels good when Steve smiles at him. But he's feeling petulant anyway, like he often does when he's learning something new about being a real boy.]

[enchangement]

It's good to feel good when you're alone. Or when you're busy.

It helps. It helps a lot.

But it's hard too.

[ She makes a heart shape with her hands at the camera. ]

[wipedclean]

[He bites back all the Hydra-ingrained mantras of how feelings are not only irrelevant, they're dangerous, because they can't be controlled. How it doesn't matter what he thinks of himself, only that he's completing his missions in a satisfactory manner.

He's trying to move past that. At least a little. Just while he's here, anyway. While he has the chance.

So instead he just nods.]

It's hard.

[enchangement]

It's okay not to be perfect.

Or to be tired, or anything else.

It's hard.

[wipedclean]

[He doesn't really respond to that. He just looks down. Away.

It is hard. And he's tired. So tired.

"Perfect" was never the word used for him, but it was expected of him nonetheless.

He just shakes his head a little and doesn't say anything.]

[enchangement]

[ She's not going to continue poking at him about it.

But he does get a big hug the next time she sees him. ]

[wipedclean]

[He will accept that hug.]