two; video

[iustitiae]

Hey! Guys! Did you know there are demons here?

[hey look it's connor with the best/worst sarcastic message for you today. many posts lately have been about demons and justifiably so but connor is a shitposter and he's back so hang on or hang up on him. (that's the better option lets all be honest with ourselves)]

Since we're all smart people who definitely aren't going outside to get possessed or die on the network -- seriously, please, stop doing that -- I figured we should at least pick a game to pass the time. You know, like being on a long road trip and playing "I Spy" or some shit.

[he starts to say something else but apparently thinks better of it, because he smiles instead and reconsiders his words]

No, actually, first - a bunch of you guys are sleeping together, right? But who isn't? The lack of having an app to prove we're all cute, single, available people is clearly an oversight. (Really, pong before tindr? Also, calling it now: please, spelunkr, make it happen.) Discuss among yourselves.

[but oh right the game he seems to only remember now that's where he started, and he's maybe a little tipsy but wouldnt you be if THERE WERE DEMONS and people were doing dumb things like getting almost killed or worse on the network]

Oh, yeah, the game. Hot or Not. Post a picture of yourself and other people rate it for hotness. Honestly I'm not even going to care if you post a picture of someone not yourself. Have at it, kids.

Comments

[ishotyouuu]

....get that inside me right now, dude. My body is so ready.

[You two are going to hell.]

[skelebro]

[On days like these...]

Nothin' hits the spot like a nice juicy hotdog, right?

[And then, wait for it - he's about to slather it in entirely too much ketchup right now.]

[ishotyouuu]

Wow. This is gettin' naughty.

[Have a shot of Wade coyly pretending to cover his face while looking through the gaps in his fingers. And still wearing the mask. Don't ask how that works.]

You could've at least waited until I came, y'know. Common courtesy.

[skelebro]

[The spectacle here is pretty incredible, he ain't gonna lie. Just imagine the expressions of anyone watching this little exchange go down. Priceless.

Sans gives the ketchup bottle a final squeeze before regarding it appraisingly.]

You think I blew it too quick?

[ishotyouuu]

Well yeah, bro. You don't wanna be premature or anything-- that shit's awkward. Not to mention you run the risk of nothin' comin' out next time you've got your wiener in your hand.

Next time don't squeeze it too hard, maybe. It's all in the technique, y'know?

[skelebro]

[Sans tries giving the thing another squeeze. It makes a ridiculously whoopee-cushion-like noise, a wet-sounding squeal, as a few final drops of ketchup dribble out the end and onto the meat of the 'dog.]

Ah, well.

[He tosses the spent bottle aside and fishes a fresh one outta his jacket pocket.]

Good thing I always pack extra.

[ishotyouuu]

[Wade, to his credit, does not laugh at this. The ugly snorting sound that comes from his mouth as the last impotent drippings of ketchup saturate the hot dog is just his allergies kicking in or something, that's all.]

You come prepared. I'm guessing this is a common problem you have?

[skelebro]

Gettin' a little too enthusiastic? How'd you guess?

[GOOD LORD SOMEONE STOP THEM.]

[murderpotato]

Please fuckin' stop before I gotta start drinkin' bleach.

[There's not enough bleach in the universe to make this okay.]

[skelebro]

The theme here is condiments, pal. C'mon, keep up.

[murderpotato]

The theme I'm followin' is shut the fuck up, Sans.

[skelebro]

Your constructive criticism has been noted, and will be filed away for future advisement.

[ishotyouuu]

Awww, no reason to feel abandoned there, darlin'.

Sans has enough of his thick tangy fluid for everyone, apparently.

[murderpotato]

[And in that moment, Gren knew with clear and perfect certainty that there is no merciful, loving God.]

I'm gonna need something fuckin' stronger than bleach.

[ishotyouuu]

[You're catching on, kemosabe!]

Oh, come on. It doesn't taste that bad. Who knows? Maybe a few squirts'll be just the thing to put some color back in those cheeks of yours.

[WADE YOU'RE NOT HELPING.]

[ishotyouuu]

Considering you pretty much just blew your entire wad just now like it ain't no thing? And that you're ready for round two already?

I somehow get the feeling this kinda thing happens a lot with you, dude.

Jussayin'. A little moderation might go a long way.

[YOU STARTED IT, YOU CAN'T UN-START IT.]

[skelebro]

And you practice, uh..."moderation" frequently?

[Sans just casually starts to chow down on that 'dog of his. Yep. Just gonna go nice and slow here. Boy, this is good stuff. All soaked through to the marrow, even.

I mean, 'dog. Soaked through to the 'dog.

What?]

[ishotyouuu]

Well, now I do. You should've seen me before. I mean, I was soakin' my weiner practically every other day.

Not now, though. Now there seems to be a distinct shortage of ketchup. Gotta save up. Be frugal, know what I mean?

[...are we still talking about hot dogs here or...?]

[skelebro]

Well, Love hasn't even been resurrected yet, y'know what I'm sayin'?

[DEFINITELY STILL TALKING ABOUT HOT DOGS.]

[ishotyouuu]

Wait, what's Love got to do with it?

...as Tina Turner once famously said to Ike.

[skelebro]

[#YIKES]

...I mean not that it's, y'know, required or anything.

[HE'S GUESSING CAN YOU TELL]

[ishotyouuu]

[Hey, you can't say "yikes" without "Ike".]

Considering you seem to have a knack for guzzling wieners on a regular basis, I'm gonna say you know all about what's required there.

[skelebro]

I'll have you know that selling wieners is an extremely lucrative business. Everybody likes toasty buns.

[ S T O P ]

[ishotyouuu]

I said guzzling, bro. As in "deep-throating". Which I ain't even gonna ask how you can pull that off without an esophagus because... well. You kinda gave me a demonstration just now.

Least you could do is warn me when you're gonna exhibition yourself like that, dude. Common courtesy.

[skelebro]

No esophagus means no gag reflex.

[Which is TECHNICALLY TRUE all right]