duel 11. video (cw: death or dying)

[puzzlingly]

「It's been a while since he's made a video post in which he looks actually serious, he doesn't look sad for a change, just thoughtful.

When he finally speaks he does it uncharacteristically (for him) quietly, even though, firm.」

How do you deal with loss?

When people leave this place or, when you know you will never see someone you care for again?
When they pass away.
Do you try to forget about them... or... 「No, that thought actually hurts.」

What is that helps you to move on?

「If they do at all.

This has been in his mind ever since Maedhros and Celebrimbor were gone, and even way before. He didn't knew them personally, but he could see how much pain their departure had caused — only one person had made him feel that way, but it wasn't Yugi who left, it was him. Atem left them all and he cannot help but wonder, was he the cause of grief among his loved ones, the ones that survived him when he decided to give up his life, and then when he had to move on from the world of the living a second time?

He doesn't wish to think so highly of himself, but it's hard, specially when all his life the world did use to revolve around him. But he worries about those he left behind, they would be fine, wouldn't they? Heh, if only they knew he hasn't moved on at all, that he still talks to his partner in his head all the time... What a little hypocrite.」


「private text: Kaiba Seto」

Mokuba is gone.

「But Atem is sure he already knows. He doesn't expect a reply.」

Comments

[toiletseat_girl]

[she laughs and shakes her head] I shoulda known. D'you know how many hours and how much whiskey it took to get me that score? A lot. A lot a lot.

[sucks to be him!]

I . . . guess? But I haven't exactly read a lot of romances, other than Jane Austen and the Brontes. But those were written a long time ago.

[puzzlingly]

For real?

「It's so easy, tho!」

Then don't make it romance, make it something you like.

「Oh! But, is that the issue? It's not like he wants to say she doesn't like romance but... it just came that way.」

[toiletseat_girl]

For real.

[her hand/eye coordination isn't the greatest, okay?]

Yeah, but it's like with Dr. Brennan's book, right? Had all the forensic stuff, but let's face it, most people were probably reading it to get to the naughty parts.

[and as she is the virginest virgin to ever virgin, she doesn't really. . . get that]

[puzzlingly]

I'm gonna have to tech you so we can both piss Kaiba off.

「Good Ra when will he shut up about that guy, he's not even here!」 

I never read it. Was it good?

「Naughty... parts, okei.」

[toiletseat_girl]

I've never met Kaiba, but this already sounds like fun.

[/cues up "My Heart Will Go On" in the background]

I liked the mystery part, but the smutty bits, ehh. I've read raunchier "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" fanfic.

cw: stupid ygo abridged references :3c

[puzzlingly]

He makes too easy not to.

「I think you mean, My Cards Will Go On.」

Fanfic?

Sweet Jesus, what did I just watch? XD

[toiletseat_girl]

[evil grin] Okay. That just clinched it. Now you have to teach me your ways.

[/ded. current status, ded]

Yeah. Say you like a particular TV show, right? Only you're between seasons and you want more or wish a particular pair of characters would hook up. That's what fanfic is for, fans writing stories that make those things happen.

magic on the making!

[puzzlingly]

Do you have what it takes, I wonder?

「The sad truth is that these two nerds might be a bit too OP games wise, but that will not stop him from teaching her what he knows! He's again, just being a little troll.」

.... Sounds kinda fun. Too bad we don't have shows here.

「But... they do have people, and their dramas.......... ohgods」

/weeps

[toiletseat_girl]

[she shrugs] Only one way to find out?

[she approves of trolls, so it's all good]

Nope. There's the play that one lady was talking about, but that's it.

[so many dramas. impossible to keep track of]

[puzzlingly]

See you tonight at the Game Room. I'll bring the beers.

「As if that was hard af all!!」

A play? Oh... oh, yeah I saw that. But I'm no actor, or writer.

「He can be dramatic as hell, would that help?」

[toiletseat_girl]

Sounds good to me.

[not very hard at all]

Yeah? Who says?

[A+ primo help!]

[puzzlingly]

Who? Well, hmm. Me? Isn't that enough?

[toiletseat_girl]

Uh-uh, nope. Not good enough. Not when you sound like me and stop that by the way. No one should sound like me.

[puzzlingly]

W...what? 「He laughs and chuckles because what even!」

What do you even sound like?!

[toiletseat_girl]

"Blah blah blah, I can't do so-and-so for insert reason here." That's what I sound like. So stop it.

[puzzlingly]

「Cue more laughing.」

It's not my fault! I just-- I don't think I'd be good at that... okay yeah I see now what you mean. Maybe both of us need to stop.

[toiletseat_girl]

You stop. My defense mechanisms work perfectly for me, thank you.

[puzzlingly]

Heh, you think I cannot see through them? What are you even defending yourself from?

[toiletseat_girl]

Yeah, but you're usually nice enough to not call me out on 'em. And, the world. I'm defending myself against the world.

[puzzlingly]

Oh, come on, it is not that bad, is it?

[toiletseat_girl]

It can be. Grade school, middle school, high school, college all sucked. I had no friends. In fact, I had people treating me like shit the whole time. So I just kind of built up these defense mechanisms and [she shrugs] never let 'em down.

[puzzlingly]

「Huh, that's familiar, awfully so.」

I see... I had no idea. I'm sorry.

「If only she had been lucky enough to find one ancient Egyptian magic artifact with a soul inside, he could have been her friend! Totes.」

It's probably not the wisest idea to let them down here either, I guess.

[toiletseat_girl]

No, it's cool. [it's not] I got used to it somewhere around third grade.

[if only, right? but fate happens and they got to be friends, anyway]

Not always, no. But for some reason, it's easier here.

[puzzlingly]

「This is a little sad, meanwhile Atem can only think of his partner and how he used to be bullied, how he had to step up for him to protect him, no matter what. Yugi had been "lucky" to find him — something questionable, at best — to release him back into the world, but it's clear that there are so many others out there with no such luck whatsoever, with no one to defend them. It's just plain sad. George, she's great, she deserved better. It makes him a little bit mad, not at her of course, it's just so unfair!」 

You've made friends here, that's gotta count for something.

[toiletseat_girl]

[whereas George just accepted it as a fact of life. the sun rises, she goes to school, she gets treated like shit, she goes home, takes a few more blows to her self-esteem just for fun, goes to bed, repeat the next day. ordinary. predictable. and eventually led to her emotionally shutting down completely unless it was to rile another person up]

Yeah. It does. It's nice. It's real nice.