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two ; text

hey guys im here today to talk about a subject thats really important to all of us

safe sex

remember to always wrap it before you tap it

so has anyone found any condoms here because i have some buds who really need to get laid and im trying to look out for them

no glove no love my friends

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OH. MY. GOD.

I HAVE GAME.

You said you-- pffff-- have game!

[ONE MORE MINUTE]

Wow. I have a girlfriend, okay? And she's- she's really hot, too.

[Yep, we are going to dig that hole.]

Haha-- haaaa, oh my god. Okay. Whoo.

[Let her take a deep breath. You're gonna kill her, buddy.]

How hot is this girlfriend that you totally have? Scale of 1 to 10.

Are you seriously asking me that? Ha. Like, an eleven.

[This is the worst thing that could ever happen to him.]

Her names, uh- [Quick, first thing he can think of-] Gre...ta. Greta. You know, old fashioned.

Ooookay. Greta. That sure sounds a lot like Gren, but all right.

Where's Greta from? Shame you two aren't together in Hadriel.

Eden.

[Pause.]

Six. Eden Six. She's a supermodel.

Wow. Eden Six. She sounds like a real catch.

[what do you mean she's not convinced]

How'd you even meet a supermodel from Eden Six?

Well, you know. Doing what I do gets you certain perks...

[This is so convincing?]

I met her on a business trip.

You got a real cushy job. Do some warmongering, meet some chicks...

What's she look like? Besides being an 11.

All in a day's work.

What can I say? She's got dark hair. And it's- uh, long. Super long.

[.................]

Sure, buddy.

What's her name again?

I told you.

[He scoffs.]

Gritta.

[Yup. Bullshit.]

You mean Glenda?

Glinda.

[He... corrects...]

Galinda.

[obviously.]

Grenda.

[...right?]

...

Gre-- [wait a minute.] Rhys, really.

Shut up, okay, I've been here a long time!

If you ask me, I think Gren should've dumped your ass a long time ago.

Gren?

[Well, that's an incredulous tone if Rhys has ever had one.

(He has)]

I'm not dating Gren.

I'unno. You sure seemed convincing with all this talk of Greta.

Makes a girl wonder.

Wo-oah! Greta and Gren are entirely different people! How could you even draw that conclusion?

How could you ever forget your darling Glinda's name?

You're just- !

[Excuse u, Lilith, he's onto you.]

-you're just messing it up to confuse me!

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