Two | Video | Earworm

[amos_moses]

[The video opens to view Amos perched on top of a mostly-crumbled building. He’s grinning widely, but it’s the kind of guilty grin that suggests while he finds this funny, he knows other people won’t be happy. There are several jabberjays around him, pecking at crumbs he’s scattered around on the rooftop.]

Ya’ll, I am so, so sorry. I really wasn’t thinking.

[See Amos has this bad habit of trying to teach all animals he comes across tricks, as one does with treats and too much time on one’s hands. Little things, like teaching a parrot to wolf-whistle, a dog to shake paws, a squirrel to bow...all in return for food. He’s slightly more successful at it than your average trainer, simply because he can explain the desired nonsense behavior.]

[As for the jabberjays, only two actually like him, so he’s been playing with them and teaching them small things, different phrases in different languages, a Latin prayer or two, and the occasional children’s song.]

[This was probably not the song to teach them, in retrospect.]

[Amos points at the nearest bird, and it happily starts singing in a lovely woman’s voice:

This is the song that never ends…!
Yes it goes on and on my friends!
Some people started singing it not knowing what it was!
And they’ll continue singing it forever just because…!

[The rest of the birds take up the chorus, in the different voices of the inhabitants of Hadriel, and Amos doubles over with laughter. People are going to kill him for this but Lord help him it’s hilarious. This is what he gets for having watched that singalong puppet show with the farm animals as a child….]

NOTE: Most of the birds will only repeat this once or twice, but the two that hang around Amos will repeat it back if you sing or hum it or offer them breadcrumbs.

Comments

permavoice.

[torrefied]

[Gooood grief, this place is such bullshit.]

I'm afraid the fever has reached your brain and you'll now need to be euthanized.

[amos_moses]

[Amos is still laughing and it makes his New Orleans accent thicker, sorry Mello.]

Now why would you say dat, chief?

[torrefied]

Because only someone with a thoroughly diseased brain would do something like this.

[Obviously.]

[amos_moses]

Or just bored out of their skull. Which I am.

[The devil lies in idle hands, or so Amos's grandmother had always told him.]

[torrefied]

Oh, so you're a sadist. Good to know.

[amos_moses]

Nah.

Lots of people do dumb things when bored.

Mine just happens to be teaching animals tricks.

[torrefied]

Why not do something useful instead?

[Why is this such a difficult concept for people!!]

[amos_moses]

Like what?

[There's really not much useful to do in the cave, unless it's gardening or killing monsters, and Amos is not one for either of those.]

[torrefied]

You could start with literally anything else.

[amos_moses]

Give a body some suggestions, maybe?

[No, Amos is totally not laughing at you, Mello. Not. At. All.]

[....okay maybe a little.]

[Maybe a lot.]

[torrefied]

Breaking rocks, for example.

[He, worked for chain gangs.]

[amos_moses]

Well, that sounds tedious.

[And wouldn't serve much purpose. Amos will work hard, sure, but only if there's a good reason for it. Working just to work...? Nope.]

[torrefied]

I'm sure it is. But I wasn't talking about what's tedious - I was talking about what's useful.

[amos_moses]

How is splitting rocks useful, praytell?

[No, really, Amos wants to know.]

[torrefied]

Because then you have smaller rocks.

[Obviously.]

[amos_moses]

.....and why are smaller rocks useful?

[torrefied]

For any number of things - paperweights, for example. Door stoppers. Paving stones.

[amos_moses]

I see. Thanks for your suggestion. I'll take it under advisement.

[Amos is chuckling a little: he's very amused. Thank you for being so entertaining, Mello.]

[torrefied]

Don't mention it.

[Or, you know. Anything. Ever.]