hadriel | 001 | (this is so not what she) texted

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001 | (this is so not what she) texted

[ hey, look, it's a picture of a brightly colored phallic fruit from Sorrow's orchard. it's laid out on a cutting board next to a second brightly colored phallic fruit that has been cut into, and clearly chewed up and spit out. next, is a selfie of ashley, her nose wrinkled in disgust. ]

The only room this 'fruit' could possibly be used in is the bedroom!!!

Y U C K

[ and several minutes after the post occurs, out in hadriel, in the ud house, ashley screams in horror. that was not at all what she wrote. someone save her. call ghostbusters! burn the phone! oh god, or maybe just kill her! ]

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[ Just gonna throw his phone across the room!!! Fine, he'll turn to audio and-- ]

[ beep] this [ beep. ], I swear to [ beep. ]

But hey, why not? Fruit like that, I mean c'mon.

[ she'd wonder what that last beep was if not for fact that his next set of words is a little mortifying. ]

Oh my gosh. [ her voice edges towards shrill. she's lucky this is audio because her cheeks and ears are a beet red. ] You—You can't just say things like that! I mean, sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of or anything, solo or otherwise, and I'm not ashamed of anything, but this is, like, public.

[ which is to say the whole world can read literally everything and she just wants to disappear. ]

I think it'd be a lot creepier if I said it in private.

[ And he's not about to change his opinion on that one. ]

Th-That's very true. [ it would have been pretty inappropriate in private, but those kinds of jokes... ah, it's not like it's his fault, but still. ] But those kinds of jokes should be reserved for like, I don't know, your close guy friends?

[ granted she's the one that technically made the post, and oh god please someone kill her, or mind wash her with one of those M.I.B. devices. ] Ugh.

Did you know I can't even delete the post? [ this is mortifying, and she's rambling. ] It's stuck here for eternity with my name and face attached to it.

[ His close guy friends? Like who? Does has to think on that one for a second because Cas wouldn't get it and Sam would all but smack him upside the head. Aaaand that brings him to the end of his close guy friend list.

Though okay, he does kind of feel bad for her. Not really something a teenager wants blasting all over a public network. ]

You'll survive it, believe me. Mortal embarrassment usually goes away after a few hours, not like it'll haunt you for the rest of your life. [ that's a lie. ] Probably could've been a [ beep! ] of a lot worse.

[ the best part of having castiel as one of your best guy friends is the whole idea of explaining those things to him. come one, dean, angels need to learn all the strange intricacies of human sexuality. ]

Unless you have friends that enjoy bringing up that mortally embarrassing thing. [ read: Josh Washington, prank master, and occasional crazy psycho. She still appreciates the lie regardless, however. ] But uh, thanks.

And I gotta know, what's with the... beeps? Are you being censored? [ because oh boy that's got to be annoying. ]

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