001 | (this is so not what she) texted

[cowardley]

[ hey, look, it's a picture of a brightly colored phallic fruit from Sorrow's orchard.  it's laid out  on a cutting board next to a second brightly colored phallic fruit that has been cut into, and clearly chewed up and spit out.  next, is a selfie of ashley, her nose wrinkled in disgust. ]

The only room this 'fruit' could possibly be used in is the bedroom!!!  
Y U C K

[ and several minutes after the post occurs, out in hadriel, in the ud house, ashley screams in horror. that was not at all what she wrote. someone save her. call ghostbusters! burn the phone!  oh god, or maybe just kill her! ]

Comments

[Action]

[thechoiceisyours]

[Chris is in the living room drinking coffee when this post appears on the network, and reads it a moment later. He can then be found with his phone and glasses sitting next to him, face buried in his hands, silently laughing so hard he may be crying. Sorry Ashley; this is not nearly as embarrassing as it is funny, because it's really funny.

Feel free to hit him with a couch cushion or something, just don't spill the coffee.]

[kickingand]

dɐɹɔ uǝpɹɐƃ sᴉɥʇ ɥʇᴉʍ sǝʌᴉʇoɯ ɹoᴉɹǝʇln pɐɥ ʍoɹɹos ʍǝuʞ

[pellameno]

So I guess we shouldn't can that one?

[action]

[unfollowing]

[Emily has not seen this post on the network (she is busy sketching okay there are more important things leave her alone), so when she hears Ashley scream, she runs over to her, pencil in hand for optimal stabbing.]

Ash, what's going on?

[There doesn't seem to be anything wrong. Nothing is in here attacking her. Emily lowers the pencil and frowns at her.]

What happened?

text;

[strangelic]

What possible use would you have for it in the bedroom?

text even though he's totally right upstairs

[pighead]

nice

im saving this text

video

[skelebro]

[That's a skeleton. Just, you know, casually eyeing this text with his typical lazy grin.]

Yeah, I hear they're really good for propping up broken bedframe legs and stuff.

text; 1/2

[verinumeri]

c0ck 700l5 pu7 chl0r1n3 1n r3c0rd p00l5
4r3 7h3r3 4ny0n3 l1k3 y4 (h3ll n4w!!)
1 7r347 hum4n5 l1k3 57ud3n75 (f41l y'4ll)

[64th]

I wouldn't bite, guys don't usually like that.

I knew a guy who did like a little teeth, though

[casperdisaster]

so where did you find it? asking for a friend