001 | (this is so not what she) texted

[cowardley]

[ hey, look, it's a picture of a brightly colored phallic fruit from Sorrow's orchard.  it's laid out  on a cutting board next to a second brightly colored phallic fruit that has been cut into, and clearly chewed up and spit out.  next, is a selfie of ashley, her nose wrinkled in disgust. ]

The only room this 'fruit' could possibly be used in is the bedroom!!!  
Y U C K

[ and several minutes after the post occurs, out in hadriel, in the ud house, ashley screams in horror. that was not at all what she wrote. someone save her. call ghostbusters! burn the phone!  oh god, or maybe just kill her! ]

Comments

[unfollowing]

[Emily shoves her phone into her pocket, her eyes narrowing in a glare so fierce she could castrate that phallic fruit just by looking at it.]

It's sending people messages from me in Japanese.

[That's not the enraging part. It's the kaomoji and the things the messages say that make her blood boil.]

[cowardley]

That's it? [ that can't be too bad. most people here probably can't even read Japanese, so it shouldn't bother her unless... she frowns. ]

What do they say?

[unfollowing]

['That's it'?! How dare you belittle Emily's suffering, Ash?]

Shit I'd never say! Stupid kaomoji and girly Japanese and fucking kawaii bullshit and--

[And telling Josh she's into him and asking to kiss Sam and calling Maketh 'mama' and oh my fucking god this needs to stop.]

Like I'd ever ask Nick why she has such a scary face? The only thing I'd ask her is why she hasn't stopped being a racist bitch!

[cowardley]

But no one has understood any of it, right? [ there's got to be a silver lining in here somewhere, aside from the lucky fact that most people seem to be catching on to what might be going on and taking absolutely nothing seriously (looking at the troll of her boyfriend). ]

And, look, about Nick... I know she's said some pretty shitty things, but maybe some of that comes from a lack of understanding of your culture, and the harm that comes from that lack of understanding. [ Luckily, Ash has always been aware of the social issues, and has always taken care in understanding and respecting other cultures (but she kind of likes the kawaii shit from Japan, sorry Em). ]

[unfollowing]

Not yet, but shit here only goes from bad to worse, you know? [You need to smack your troll of a boyfriend upside the head, Ash.

And that remark, of course, does the exact opposite of what Ashley wants it to do, only upsetting Emily further.] Are you fucking kidding me? Why does everybody here take her side?

[Emily's life is pain on so many levels right now.]

[cowardley]

Oh my god, Em, I'm not taking her side! [ Ash responds quickly. She does understand entirely why Emily has such a problem with Nick, but, at this point in time, she's just making it worse for everyone who views either of them as a friend. ] I know what kind of crap she said, but I don't think... I think that maybe if she learned more about you, about the important things in your culture, she'd come to realize just how wrong she was.

I get it if you don't to bother with her, but I just... thought maybe you could help her see things right. [ just without the bitchiness. oh, well, the fatal flaw in her plan has appeared and she quickly shakes her head. ]

Never mind, okay? I'm sorry I brought it up.

[unfollowing]

Sure you're not. [But that is the right answer, Ash.] Look, it's not my fucking job to teach her not to be a racist piece of shit. You aren't one, right? There's no excuse.

[Emily no longer feels sorry for your fruit dick pic post, Ashley.]

Anyway. Get Chris to figure out what's going on and put his nerd skills to use fixing it.

[cowardley]

[ Her lips press into a thin line, not pleased with Emily's answer. She would never say there is an excuse for racism, but the only way to combat racism is with knowledge, and understanding. It's clear, however, that Emily really doesn't want to continue on with that conversation, so Ashley lets it drop.

She rolls her eyes. ]

I don't think his nerd skills will be any good with this, Emily. I don't really think it's a coding issue. [ :| ]

[unfollowing]

[Emily would disagree with that. You can kick racist ass. Tolerance shmolerance. Nick is an asshole, and Emily has no patience for that.]

You're probably right. [She huffs, scowling.] I can't fucking believe this. Nothing is sacred. [The gods. It's definitely one of them. Fuck this. Fuck this.]

Fuck this bullshit. I'm going to sew. Come if you want to, I don't care. I have to take your measurements, but I have other stuff to work on if you just want to stay here and cry about your dick pic.

[cowardley]

It's not a dick pic. [ She says it in a bit of a jokingly weepy way before she continues on. ]

But, yeah, I'll come with. [ She's a bit giddy about the dress, stuffing her mistexting, traitorous phone into her pocket. ] I've been thinking mint green, or baby pink.

[ For the dress color, obviously. ]

[unfollowing]

[Whatever, Ash.

Emily shrugs, then motions to the door, too ready to get away from the site of their little argument to bother saying anything about the fact that they're leaving right now.]

Whatever dye is easier for you to make, I don't care either way. You could just go ask Delight for fabric, though. It'll make your life easier. [Not Emily's, though. Her job will remain unchanged.]

[cowardley]

I don't really like asking the gods for things, Em. [ She's asked Hope a few questions, certainly, and has put in a single request with Delight, but she prefers to avoid them when it's possible. ] They kind of make me a little uncomfortable.

[unfollowing]

Makes no difference to me, so... [She shrugs again.] Though I kind of want to know what you use if you go for mint green.

[cowardley]

Spinach. [ Ashley replies quickly, a bit of a pop to her step. ] A quick dip in a spinach dye bath gives a really nice mint-sage color to white cotton.

[ She's gotten a handful of colors down to a science now, written neatly in a journal with strips of cheap cotton fabric to serve as swatches taped to the correct pages. ] I'll show you the colors I can do so far sometime. There's a really nice steel-blue that I think would be a great color on you.

[unfollowing]

Wow, look at you, all smart about something useful for once. [She's totally teasing. That would be a great color on Emily.] I'm going to have to trade Delight for more white fabric at this rate. I'm down with that. You sure are earning your dress.

[Not that she wouldn't make it for Ashley anyway (money means shit here), but still. The help is nice, really expands what Emily is able to do with what little they have.]