001 | (this is so not what she) texted

[cowardley]

[ hey, look, it's a picture of a brightly colored phallic fruit from Sorrow's orchard.  it's laid out  on a cutting board next to a second brightly colored phallic fruit that has been cut into, and clearly chewed up and spit out.  next, is a selfie of ashley, her nose wrinkled in disgust. ]

The only room this 'fruit' could possibly be used in is the bedroom!!!  
Y U C K

[ and several minutes after the post occurs, out in hadriel, in the ud house, ashley screams in horror. that was not at all what she wrote. someone save her. call ghostbusters! burn the phone!  oh god, or maybe just kill her! ]

Comments

[cowardley]

All of them?

[64th]

Kind of? it's not always a bad thing. Keeps life interesting.

[cowardley]

Unless they're into something really weird. [ there are some strange stories that have circulated the internet. ]

[64th]

Exactly.

Honestly, though, I think I've seen it all.

[cowardley]

For real? [ color her curious. she's usually not super interested in other people's sex lives, but Cash sounds like she may a few interesting (maybe gossipy) stories to tell. ] What's the craziest you've come across?

I mean, if that's not prying too much, or anything.

[64th]

It's not prying

Um one guy cried the whole time, there was a guy who was really into brushing my hair

oh! there was a woman who wanted me to have sex with her husband while she watch but only if he'd call me her name

[ just a day in the life, really. ]

[cowardley]

Oh my god. Like she really wanted you to...? Oh wow. People get into some really weird stuff. The guy who brushed your hair, though, sounds kind of way more creepy than crazy, to be honest!

[64th]

Capitol people are all crazy.

Oh ew do you think he kept the hair from the brush? I just put 2 and 2 together

[cowardley]

What if he made a doll from it??! I'm so sorry you had to deal with such crazy!

[ nightmares forever now. that sounds like an obbsessive serial killer tbh ]

[64th]

A DOLL??? Hahaha!! Ewwwwwwwww
At least I'm here now... I guess...

[cowardley]

Silver linings, right?

[64th]

it's the little things... plus here I can probably get away with punching someone who crosses any lines with me

[cowardley]

You couldn't have punched him if you wanted to back home?

[64th]

not without serious consequences

[ she's not sure how honest to be, so she decides to just sort of allude to the truth ]

I was responsible for entertaining the President's friends however they saw fit. It wouldn't be my place to refuse or pick a fight.

[cowardley]

[ Ash is quick to pick up what Cash is saying, but almost doesn't quite want to believe it. ]

Oh. That sounds... That's horrible.

[64th]

other people have it worse

and no one's going to try that here