SECOND SONG ♫ TEXT

[hasitsthorns]

[ At some time that is far too late for probably anyone to be awake, a message comes across the network.

God, how she's missed being able to text. ]

Have you ever done something you regret? That you're ashamed of?
Maybe it's a lot of things. It is for me.

How do you deal with that now?
Did you find a way to make it better or did you just ignore it until it went away?
(The latter is my strategy. Hasn't worked out so well, let me tell you.)

I have trouble sometimes with it all still.
I try to do better, but...
Trying only gets you so far sometimes.

Comments

text;

[iustitiae]

have you tried alcohol

[unfollowing]

you're like five months late for sorrow's revival

text

[saltrock_imp]

Yes, I have. I try not to think about it. It hasn't really worked.

[video]

[wormintheglass]

Je ne regrette rien.

[This is a barefaced lie, but it's not only a lie Bianca tells herself regularly, it's also her favourite song. That totally makes it okay.]

text

[unitas]

Everyone does shit they regret. Everyone fucks up. You just have to learn to accept it, and move the fuck on. [ Not that she's quite figured out how to. Sorry, Rosie. ]

text;

[beanstalk]

Pretending it doesn't exist isn't going to make it go away.

text;

[hasitsthorns]

See, that seems like the smart conclusion.
But no one ever said I was smart!
Seems I tend to learn the hard way, which means I'm still not entirely convinced it won't just disappear if I ignore it.

text

[hasitsthorns]

How does one 'move the fuck on'?
Especially if what you did is still a potential thing you might do again...

text

[hasitsthorns]

Someone after my own heart.
I try not to think about it either. But, yeah, that hasn't gotten me all that far.
Bunch of bologna, right?

text;

[hasitsthorns]

Alcohol and I are old friends, actually.
I have.
It doesn't help anymore though.

[hasitsthorns]

I know, right?
I'm sad I missed it, actually.
He's a cool dude.

private;

[hasitsthorns]

Hooooo boy
There's
a lot
Like, a lot

You sure you wanna' know?

[video]

[hasitsthorns]

Ni le bien qu'on m'a fait. Ni le mal tout ça m'est bien égal.

[ It's an excellent song. It also seems like they have something in common beyond music. Lying. ]

Ah, I wish. Easier said than done and all that, right?

[unfollowing]

[What a fucking idiot.]

sure

[hasitsthorns]

[ She is, actually, pretty stupid when it comes to some things. ]

I take it you're not a fan of him either?
Or just of the gods in general?

private;

[hasitsthorns]

[ Mm. She would, but that's... honestly part of her problem. Problems. ]

Well let me answer that with another question
Have you ever killed anyone?

text

[unitas]

I think if there's potential that you'll do it again, you can't regret it all that much, right? Or maybe that thing is worth the regret.

And you want to know how to move the fuck on? You just keep going. You don't stop to blubber, or to moan your mistakes. You accept what you've done, you pick yourself up, and you keep moving forward.

text

[hasitsthorns]

I do regret it. Every time. It's something that happens when I lose control. Which isn't often, I make sure of that. But it's still a worry of what if my emotions are manipulated again, what if I don't know how to stop myself in the heat of the moment again.

I'm trying to. I promised to, actually. But some days are harder than others, I guess. [ Then, after a pause- ] Thanks though. You remind me of a friend I used to have in Haven. He always gave me a good kick in the ass when I needed it.

[ She hopes you're okay wherever you are, Hiruma. ]

private;

[hasitsthorns]

[ Well. He already knows she's not human, so... That's a big hurdle out of the way. ]

I was forced to kill my own kind for a while. For sport.

Then I killed because I was angry.

Now I kill because I can't control myself sometimes. I regret it, every time it's happened. It doesn't happen often but I don't

I don't want to hurt anyone here, y'know? Not again.

Re: text;

[beanstalk]

Whatever it is, you need to deal with it before you can move on.

Or you know, you can remain a blissful dumbass.

text

[benumbing]

Many times.

I mostly drink.

[unfollowing]

i don't like people who make it their business to make me feel like shit

Re: text

[saltrock_imp]

People say sometimes it helps to talk about it.
But sometimes I think all that does is taint the listener. Some tales are just bad.
I remember bologna.

text

[sciencelizard]

usually i'd watch tv or some of my favorite shows but...
it doesnt fix it
just makes it go away for a while

...
what do you do if smth can't be fixed?

Re: private;

[hasitsthorns]

[ It does. This has also been almost a year now of just... festering. ]

Friends.
People who trusted me.
I killed them. Almost killed them. All because I couldn't stop myself.

[ There's more to it than that; there's a why behind how she came to lose control. But that's... still something she has trouble talking about. The first victim. The poor, unsuspecting woman who had done nothing but been in the wrong place at the wrong time as an evil man experimented on them. ]