two; video

[iustitiae]

Hey! Guys! Did you know there are demons here?

[hey look it's connor with the best/worst sarcastic message for you today. many posts lately have been about demons and justifiably so but connor is a shitposter and he's back so hang on or hang up on him. (that's the better option lets all be honest with ourselves)]

Since we're all smart people who definitely aren't going outside to get possessed or die on the network -- seriously, please, stop doing that -- I figured we should at least pick a game to pass the time. You know, like being on a long road trip and playing "I Spy" or some shit.

[he starts to say something else but apparently thinks better of it, because he smiles instead and reconsiders his words]

No, actually, first - a bunch of you guys are sleeping together, right? But who isn't? The lack of having an app to prove we're all cute, single, available people is clearly an oversight. (Really, pong before tindr? Also, calling it now: please, spelunkr, make it happen.) Discuss among yourselves.

[but oh right the game he seems to only remember now that's where he started, and he's maybe a little tipsy but wouldnt you be if THERE WERE DEMONS and people were doing dumb things like getting almost killed or worse on the network]

Oh, yeah, the game. Hot or Not. Post a picture of yourself and other people rate it for hotness. Honestly I'm not even going to care if you post a picture of someone not yourself. Have at it, kids.

Comments

Re: text

[murderpotato]

i think we got real fuckin different definitions of the word 'great'

and 'humor'

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[skelebro]

hey, i'm a skeleton.
makes sense i'd be pretty humerus.

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[murderpotato]

were you dropped on your fuckin head as a kid or some shit

do you even have a brain to get damaged

fuck

im not drunk enough for this shit

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[iustitiae]

i have vodka

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[murderpotato]

not my first choice but ill fuckin take it

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[iustitiae]

picture first tho
gotta play the game to get the goods

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[murderpotato]

ok fine



[Isn't he beautiful]

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[iustitiae]

good enough for me
come over if you want dont bring demons
spire 2, 701

action

[murderpotato]

[He debates whether or not he actually wants to go over to some asshole's place, even if there's free liquor involved. It would require him to, like, be social or some shit, and Gren's social skills aren't exactly what one would call well developed. In the end, though, he's out of whiskey and that's what makes the decision for him. Maybe he should have higher standards about this sort of thing, but let's be real, Gren's a fucking alcoholic so the promise of booze will work every time.]

[So, here he is. Standing outside some fucker's door during some crazy demon bullshit invasion to get some free vodka. It's amazing the kind of shit that you'll get used to after you've lived in this stupid murdercave for long enough.]

[Gren thumps on the door a couple of times. Open up, motherfucker, special murderpotato delivery.]

[iustitiae]

[look at this!! making friends via alcohol! what a good and not at all questionable decision. anyway connor opens the door for gren]

So you do have a face after all.

[door now opened he's off to at least poor gren a drink. vodka was offered and vodka there shall be]

[murderpotato]

[Yeah, he's got a face, and now Connor knows why he didn't really want to put it up for other people to rate. He already knows he's not pretty, he doesn't need a barrage of '0/10, would not fuck'. He's aware, okay, he probably wouldn't even fuck himself.]

[He walks in and shuts the door behind him. At least this guy's making good on his promise of vodka, even if he has no idea how much Gren can put away. It's a lot, don't try to drink him under the table.]

I already showed you my fuckin' good side.

[Which is his middle finger.]

[iustitiae]

[connor laughs. the other man has probably seen some better days. better years. but he's not complaining either. and everyone looks great if you get drunk enough.

(in theory.)

he pours the glass and hands it off to gren]

Cheers. Yay for not being eaten by demons.

[murderpotato]

[Gren's seen better centuries, probably. Ones where he had two arms, those were definitely better years. If he'd had two hands, he could've sent a picture with two middle fingers instead of just one.]

[But, hey, right now there's vodka, and that'll have to do.]

Fuckin' good enough a reason as any to drink.

[He knocks back a good portion of the drink without even so much as a grimace, because he's a champ. And also an alcoholic. Either way, he's dumped worse shit down his gullet before.]

[iustitiae]

Like we really needed one.

[connor is not an alcoholic but he is a super lightweight.]

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[skelebro]

nah. just a skull.
doesn't mean i can't give people a piece of my mind, though.

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[murderpotato]

i swear im gonna fuckin give you a piece of my fist through your fuckin eye socket

[Wow, Gren, fisting on the first date.]

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[skelebro]

[Sans evidently has the same thought.]

yikes. buy me dinner first.

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[murderpotato]

youre a fuckin skeleton how would you even fuckin eat it

never mind that how would you even fuckin fuck its not like you can get a

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[murderpotato]

fuck.

[He walked his own dumb ass right into that bone pun.]

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[skelebro]

[Gren is officially the gift that keeps on giving.]

no, no, go on.
you were saying?

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[murderpotato]

[He can't think of anything other than boner. It's like his entire dick-based vocabulary just fucked off on him. The only other word that's coming to mind is stiffy and that's just as fucking bad.]

shit fuck dammit

you got me in a box here

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[skelebro]

hard to believe you didn't see that one coming.
you don't even need foresight. just milk.
how else are you gonna calcium coming?

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[murderpotato]

why do i even fuckin talk to you

[Latent masochism? Overt masochism? Crippling loneliness hidden underneath a short temper and underdeveloped social skills? Who knows.]

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[skelebro]

that's a question i really can't help you with.

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[murderpotato]

theres not enough fuckin alcohol in this fuckin murdercave to make me drunk enough to deal with your ass