hadriel | duel 11. video (cw: death or dying)

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duel 11. video (cw: death or dying)

「It's been a while since he's made a video post in which he looks actually serious, he doesn't look sad for a change, just thoughtful.

When he finally speaks he does it uncharacteristically (for him) quietly, even though, firm.」

How do you deal with loss?

When people leave this place or, when you know you will never see someone you care for again?
When they pass away.
Do you try to forget about them... or... 「No, that thought actually hurts.」

What is that helps you to move on?

「If they do at all.

This has been in his mind ever since Maedhros and Celebrimbor were gone, and even way before. He didn't knew them personally, but he could see how much pain their departure had caused — only one person had made him feel that way, but it wasn't Yugi who left, it was him. Atem left them all and he cannot help but wonder, was he the cause of grief among his loved ones, the ones that survived him when he decided to give up his life, and then when he had to move on from the world of the living a second time?

He doesn't wish to think so highly of himself, but it's hard, specially when all his life the world did use to revolve around him. But he worries about those he left behind, they would be fine, wouldn't they? Heh, if only they knew he hasn't moved on at all, that he still talks to his partner in his head all the time... What a little hypocrite.」

「private text: Kaiba Seto」

Mokuba is gone.

「But Atem is sure he already knows. He doesn't expect a reply.」

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Memory palace?

「Mind you, he doesn't look like he's really grieving, it's easy to hide that when you've been doing it for a long, long time. He manages a bit of a smirk there.」

So you keep them in your memories. Does it help?

「He's lost people, but, it is not about that, not that he might talk about it.」

Yeah, it's an old trick. You create a place in your mind. It doesn't have to be a palace. It could just be a house. You give each person you miss a room. You can visit them there.

It helps me. Sometimes.

Hmm... Sounds like a Soul Room.

「Yes, she's allowed to ask.」

I'm glad... That it helps, that you do not forget them.

「Not entirely at least. Her answer soothes his fear as much as it ignites it. Not being forgotten meant that the memories could still hurt as well.」

But, why not all the time?

A soul room? Is that a religious thing?

It does..and it can help me to forgot too. I can lock away the bad memories in their own room.

[She looks down.]

Sometimes it just hurts, you know? Missing people, feeling guilty, all that stuff.

Not quite, all of us, have a Soul Room, deep into our 心.

「The word doesn't come translated as Hadriel's magic usually does, kokoro is the sound that comes from him.」

It's a little place that contains who we are, with items that reflect our personality. My partner... he... 「He hesitates a second, but this is Abigail, she'd understand.」 his room was very bright, a little childish, with toys and games all around.

「One would even say it was a little messy, but it felt nice to be there. It reflected Yugi's personality through and through, his kindness and warmth. How is it that he got to be there is another story altogether.」

Deep in your heart? [She guesses.] That would be like a memory palace.

[She looks up again and manages a small smile.] Your partner sounds like he was a happy guy.

「He nods, he doesn't quite notice that his words don't get translated, but she gets it. The mind, the soul, the heart.」

Well, I'm not sure if one single room can be a palace but — yeah, I guess it must be.

「There is a blatant pang of hurt that cross his eyes at that last. But he just chooses to look away.」

He was... is.

「Yugi is still very much alive, and hopefully still happy. He truly hopes so, and that's exactly what he's afraid of, what if he's not anymore? What if he misses him as much as he does? Does he still talk to him, as Atem himself does when no one else is listening?

He shouldn't have left, he shouldn't have left, he shouldn't have left he shouldn'thavele--」

Have you been sleeping well?

「He needs to change the topic, he needs to. At least for a moment.」

[Is, not was. He doesn't think his partner's dead than she won't either, though no one knows what's been happening back home.]

He is special enough to you for it to be a palace.

[She says it quietly. After all, she doesn't even know his partner. At his question, she shakes her head.]

I was sleeping well, but then something happened and now it's hard to feel safe enough to sleep.

「She's right, though. That alone makes him utter a strained chuckle. But in his case, he wonders if he should not be living in that palace all the time. Who knows.」

You're right.

「Focusing on her instead brings him back to the here and now, it's not ideal, but he's probably not ready yet to talk so much about his partner.」

What happened?

「Can he know?」

He's not completely gone from you if you remember him.

Just a sec.

[She switches to a private video.]

Someone put a sword to my throat.

「He's heard that before too, maybe he should start believing it.

But what she says makes him freeze in absolute and blinding rage. She doesn't even need to tell him more, he knows, perfectly, who she's talking about. He cannot hold his frustration and exhales angrily.

The demon. Caedra!

But it didn't kill Abigail, that much is clear... Why?」

I know who. How did you escape?

She told me to run, so I did.

I didn't know what else to do. I was so scared.

You did well...

「He doesn't quite get it, why Caedra would let her go, maybe, in the sadistic demon's mind it was all for fun, to watch her run in fear. He remembers the archfiend claiming it was helping Rage, Abigail did not give it what it wanted so it simply played with her... How can't anyone ignore its weaked ways, it's baffling and infuriating.」

I will not let it hurt you, Lilly.

「It's time for him to make another of those protective charms he and Carlisle made for a few that embarked with Law and the demon.」

I promise.

Edited (ugh sorry so many edits) 2018-08-19 19:07 (UTC)

[She shakes her head.]

I ran home. She could have followed me and hurt Will. Or anyone else in the spires.

[She put people in danger again, putting her own life first. She looks down, playing with her scarf.]

You can't make that promise. She's out there somewhere. It's like with my dad. The threat is out there. It's real. I don't know if anything can stop it.

I can, and I will.

「He doesn't hesitate this time, it might be the network, and he hasn't been too open to anyone about it but those involved, but now she is too.」

I've been learning magic lately, we made a few charms for the people, to work against that demon's powers. I'll make you one.

「Granted that, it wouldn't help her if Caedra set to kill her... But for Atem, the most important wasn't their vessels, Hope could revive them, but if the demon messed up with their souls, there was no turning back. That's what he could protect... for now.」

We have time, the demon left to get the Door fragments, it won't bother you.

But she has magic too. She made a green flame appear from the sword.

Don't do anything to make her mad.

[She looks up slowly.]

You call her it. You know she went to get door fragments and I didn't even tell you what she looks like. Do you know her?

I know. That's what demons do. And yeah, we've crossed paths before, it goes by the name of Caedra, it attempted to do the very same thing it did to you but I was lucky.

「He used what was left of Love's blessing on Caedra, that saved him.」

I'm not that stupid, 「Unlike what his so-called friends think. 」 I will not put myself in danger if I can help it. What I told you it's a secret, but if it comes after me I don't care, rather me than any of you.

And... I will not call it any other way.

「Caedra is not a person to him, will never be (not for now, no). Little things he is so stubborn about and that's one of them, he's got deep, deep antipathy against demons, one destroyed his homeland after all. Demons are not people, and that one is no woman, it's just a monster.」

Edited 2018-08-20 17:50 (UTC)

I don't think you're stupid. I'd rather it not be anyone. Or at least not anyone I know.

[It's selfish but she'd sacrifice the ones she doesn't know for the people she cares about.]

Do what you have to. I'll keep your secret.

How do you know her..know it?

「She doesn't have to lower to his level, he's petty and he knows it; calling Caedra "her" doesn't matter to him, he simply won't do it himself.

It doesn't sound selfish, she sounds worried when she shouldn't be. Just another reason to hate the demon.」

I've been unfortunate to know of its deeds... Then it did the same it did to you. That's when I met it in person for the first time.

You got away from it too? Do you think that means it doesn't really kill or that it likes to play with its prey first?

As I said, I was lucky. I'm not sure if it killed anyone during those days — there was something about making people mad and helping Rage in that moment, even though it was just an excuse to do what it always does. And no, don't be fooled, it's killed a lot of people so far, but, I don't know why it didn't kill you...

Maybe it thought I would get mad once I was safe and not scared. Joke's on it. I'm always scared.

「Aren't they all...」

I'm sorry...

「Why is it so hard to keep his friends just, happy? It's not up to him he knows it, but it's hard to let go.」

But, as I said, I'm sure it won't bother you for now and maybe you should enjoy the moment of respire. If we are lucky a kraken might eat it, though it might get an indigestion...

「Look, it's an attempt of a joke and all. A very lame one, he's not good at those. Please smile, friendo.」

Edited 2018-08-20 21:26 (UTC)

[She manages a little smile for him.]

Or it might get to full to eat anyone else. Or poisoned by her nastiness. Two birds with one stone.

Are you going off anywhere?

Good one.

「There we go.」

Me? No. I wouldn't be useful out there at all.

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