two ; text

[pighead]

hey guys im here today to talk about a subject thats really important to all of us

safe sex

remember to always wrap it before you tap it

so has anyone found any condoms here because i have some buds who really need to get laid and im trying to look out for them

no glove no love my friends

Comments

text

[pighead]

rockets

neon

text

[hybridification]

I like your style. You're hired.

Not that I'm making neon rocket condoms or starting a business capable of producing them, but you know, if I were, I'd hire you to be the head of my condom think tank.






...hahahaha. Head.

text

[pighead]

not the job my parents dreamed of but clearly what i was meant to do

im just exploding with ideas and double entendres

text

[hybridification]

I mean I sold ammunition and high quality weaponry but I can see myself taking a quick sidestep into condom city.

I also really like how we're both pretending that people are going to need condoms, it totally makes everything even funnier. I mean, we all know that nobody is actually getting laid here.

Right?

text

[pighead]

oh

bro...

its ok i have a phd in wingmanning for awkward nerds so i got your back whenever you need it

text /threadjack

[thechoiceisyours]

[Okay he can't just watch these terrible conversations anymore.]

Dude no offense but you are legit the worst wingman in history.

text

[pighead]

am i though

you have a girlfriend now

check and mate

text

[thechoiceisyours]

You so don't get credit for that

In fact I think you get anti-credit

If that's not a thing it is now

text

[pighead]

what? no way you cant just take credit away

i was rooting for you man

we all were

text

[thechoiceisyours]

Dude

No

You lost all your credit points for cheating

text

[pighead]

alls fair in love and war

that's like CLASSIC

text

[hybridification]

What? No way.

I've got game! I've got so much game. I just... well I thought that people- I mean, this is Murdercave, not season 83 of Big Brother!

Oh my god.

I've been spending so much time with Gren, hiding for my life... I lost sight of what was really important.

text

[pighead]

its ok

you can still change things you can fix your priorities

you can get your game back

i believe in you

text

[hybridification]

Yeah... yeah, I've just gotta refocus is all. Switch from Low Budget Horror Sequel 3 to a funny, yet uplifting romantic comedy where the monsters are just distractions from my lovestruck goal.

Or a porno. Less effort that way, but I feel like that can fall back into horror too quickly.

text

[pighead]

if this ends with you fucking a monster im not taking any responsibility for it

text

[hybridification]

You know I think I saw this one show once-

you know what, let's not go there.

Can we go back to talking about neon rocket condoms? That was a not-depressing part of this conversation.

text

[pighead]

im always down for a good neon rocket condom conversation

especially if it keeps you from making bad choices

text

[murderpotato]

rhys did you get into my fuckin liquor

text

[hybridification]

No, but I'm going to need it to toast this excellent business deal!

text

[murderpotato]

you probably shouldnt go into a fuckin business you dont know shit about

text

[hybridification]

I think I know a lot about condoms, bud. I mean, you don't see a lot of little Rhysies running around here, now do you?

Re: text

[murderpotato]

i dont fuckin think thats why

text

[hybridification]

Oh come on man, don't say it.

text

[murderpotato]

do i even fuckin have to?

name one person here whod buy that youve even fuckin touched a tit

text

[hybridification]

VAUGHN.

VAUGHN WOULD BELIEVE ME.

Josh would too.

And.... Ax...ton...




(don't ask Axton)